update... :)

Hope everyone had an awesome Christmas. Mine was really good. Okay, well except the part of running a fever of 102. OTHER than that, it was pleasant.

I've been spending the last few days watching Glee. I'm officially caught up and now a fan. Okay, so it's not the most WHOLESOME or MORAL show.. but the kids are talented..and well let's be honest, I'm a sucker for a handsome romantic man and good music..so Glee fits me.

I'm of course ready for the new year and things are shaping up and falling into place. Yay for Jesus, I know he's got some good stuff up his sleeve :)

Just wanted to give a quick update. Hope your Christmas was very merry. Love to you all!

Christmas Revelation

I can't believe it's already Christmas. It came so fast this year and the new year is approaching even faster.

The truth is, I made a snotty remark about resolutions this morning... but I'm starting to develop a few. Some that I honestly should have developed a long time ago. Sadly, I am regretting recent decisions, but not for reasons that I should. I am not regretting them because they were wrong. I'm regretting them because it seems like nothing good or beneficial will ever come from them. But I KNOW God is bigger than my selfish regret. He has some kind of crazy/awesome plan and I honestly have never been prouder to call him mine. I finally, FINALLY, praise Jesus feel like I am getting somewhere internally. Externally, it looks like I'm going backwards. Thankfully, inside I am moving at super-sonic speed. I don't know what all of it means or why it's happening now. I just know that it NEEDS to happen and I couldn't be happier about it. Whew...talk about words I never thought I'd say. This year is going to be a new kind of year. It's going to be NEW. I know everyone says that every year, but no... I really mean it. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I will not stay the same. Although there's not a lot of change happening externally, I feel it coming.... I feel the grace coming to do what I never thought I could. Oh, praise you Jesus.

Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Let this new year be THE year for starting over.

MERRY CHRISTMAS :) :) :)

late night blog fun.

Over the past couple of days.... well ever since Jordan's Christmas break officially began, I've started updating my facebook status to "Fav. things about Christmas break" just because we have so much fun and so many crazy/hilarious things happen when we're together. I wanted to share some of them with you!! :) And a few that I haven't even posted!

Fav. thing about Christmas break #268: watching re-runs of touched by an angel with Jordan

Fav. thing about Christmas break #190: Pulling out old/unused Christmas gifts from last year and trying to decide with Jordan if we should re-gift them.

Fav. thing about Christmas break #17: Jordan watching tv and laughing hysterically at a bloody cat on tv with the subtitle "WHY DID THEY HURT ME?" while i'm on the phone.

Fav. thing about Christmas break #301: Local Cemetery becomes "T-ville's Tanglewood."

Fav. thing about Christmas break #88: Peanut Butter. Crying over sledding. Carrotts and Ranch Dressing.

Fav. thing about Christmas break #47: Calling people on the phone and being dared by Jordan to refer to them as "fool"

I love this time of year. I love my sister and I love all that God is doing! Things are crazy, but I am loving them. Pray for me as I head into this new season of my life :)

Ministry

I'm really excited that Christmas is almost here. It comes at a time when the seasons of my life are changing. It couldn't have come at a better time... It's all just starting to make some sense.

I feel like that this past season has been a season of receiving. After spending 16 years with my family in the ministry, the last year of just receiving instead of always giving out was just what the Great Physician ordered. I finally feel the Lord calling me back into that place of ministry again. Thank you Jesus. I have truly missed it more than I'd ever imagined. When you're in the ministry for most of your life it gets very exhausting, very dry and really difficult to keep moving. This time of rest and recoop. has just been a blessing in disguise. While I felt myself growing restless in the past couple of months, I knew it was what God was calling for.

Although this has been a time of revelation, growing and receiving. I can honestly say that I receive more when ministering than when I don't. The reward of seeing the harvest of the seeds you plant ministers to the minister just as much (if not more sometimes) than to the person they're ministering to.

Christmas is an amazing time to minster and so I'm really excited about that. I'm excited to see what God is going to put in front of me to do this holiday season! I love this time of year and I can't wait to see what's in store for this next upcoming year!

"he will be even better...."

So, today I spent my day watching Christmas movies. I watched two that starred Neil Patrick Harris: "The Christmas Blessing" and "The Christmas Wish". Now, I have this hilarious habit of "imdb-ing" every actor in almost every movie I watch. I guess I just want to know more about the people behind the characters. So I'm watching these movies...bawling my little hazel eyes out and thinking to myself "Dear Jesus, please let me have a man like that one day......" but for some reason I just kept hearing.."yours will be even better.. he will be even better" I kept laughing it off thinking "try that one on for size...thats what you call WISHFUL THINKING." Then in my quest of "imdb-ing" Neil Patrick Harris, I discovered a major thing that probably most people know....he's gay. I groaned in agony and vented for about two minutes to myself how all the good ones are gay or old and I need to become a hollywood missionary and get these people in line. Then it hit me. He's one HECK of an actor....I would have NEVER guessed. All of the parts he plays, he plays straight and he's stinkin good at it. But then I thought...aren't we all good actors. There are so many people that we see in our daily lives or that we even know that are SO good at what they are pretending to be. Then I realized that I hope those words "he will be even better" are true. I want someone who isn't a good actor. I want someone who is the worst actor in the world, who cannot hide who they are or what their feeling at all. I want someone that is one of those people that "what you see...is what you get." People like that are so rare these days. Then I realized, I want to be one of those people as well. I want to be a person that is exactly who I portray myself to be... or rather that I always portray myself exactly as I am.

So, will my husband be as good looking as Neil Patrick Harris? Dear Lord, I hope so. But it just goes to show that our defintion of "amazing..or the best.." or our standards or current desires are not always the best. Sometimes, God shows up and allows us to "imdb" someone and see their true colors and who they are. It's then that we realize one day God will bring his perfect will for our lives and to us..."he will be even better....."

Growing, Grace, and Graduation

It's official. I have graduated High School! I never thought I'd see the day! I can't believe how fast time has flown by and that I am no longer considered a child anymore. It's an odd feeling and nothing like what you would expect it to be. Yesterday was the beginning of it all and I honestly feel like suddenly I've been dropped into an entire new role in my life. I'm now required to do things that I was not required to do...It's all a lot more than I can explain through a blog.

I think mostly the hardest part is realizing that I can no longer claim innocence or ignorance to excuse anything. Realizing that was huge for me... I now I have to own up to things a little more, but I know that's something that NEEDS to happen! It's so strange because I am the youngest grandchild on each side of my family and I have now graduated.. I can't believe how old all of us are and how fast time has flown. Looking back, there are a few things I'd do differently, but ultimately I'm at a good place and God is in control and if not for his amazing grace, who knows where i'd be!!

So what's next for the rest of this year? I have no idea. I haven't the slightest clue as to what God wants me to do, but I'm just trusting him. It's the scariest place i've ever been... but I also love it. I love the freedom of just falling into his arms knowing that even if I have to fall for a while, he will inevitably catch me!

Thank you to everyone who has been apart of my life for these past 17 years, I am so blessed to know each of you! I love you all! :)

giving thanks, growing up and getting grace.

Thanksgiving has come and gone. There were so many things to be thankful for this year! God has blessed me and so many wonderful things have been happening. Life hasn't always been easy and it surely has not been all that i thought it would be this year, but i'm learning to be thankful in all circumstances! I think it's safe to say that I am not sure what God is doing in my life and that a lot of unexpected surprises have come my way, but I know he has a plan!!

Thanksgiving day was wonderful. We got to spend time with some of the most wonderful people and I got to see my family which I always enjoy. It was sad that we were lacking certain members this year, but we will surely all be together on Christmas! The food was wonderful this year and it was a great day!! Black Friday was long and tiring. I didn't feel like we found any good deals (except maybe like two) and I didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but oh well. It's fun just to get up and go out into the crazy mess and see what's out there! So i'm glad that we kept up the tradition and went!

As for today, I've just been resting. Tonight has been a quiet night and I've just been basking in my thoughts and feelings. I'm just trying to figure out the next steps and move into the place God has for me.

That's all for now, I will keep you all updated more in the coming days! :)

Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving!!!!

Love!

updates on life...

Today was quite the day. Well, tehnically..yesterday was quite the day. It's almost 3 am! But I just had to write and update about some great things.

I made a life altering decision today. Of course, God's will is what will ultimately happen, BUT if all goes as I have planned..then things will be dramatically different in 8 weeks of my life!

I am working on a very intense Christmas present. I have a HUGE fear it will not get finished. But I'm going to work hard. I'm going to push myself to do what I do not want to do! It's for the sake of someone else. Christmas is in fact the giving season. Not just in material, but also in time, effort, and in doing tasks that do not necessarily appeal to you.

I said some things I needed to say. Okay, maybe not... I said some things the WAY they needed to be said. Was it Godly? Probably not. Was it wrong? Probably. Did I regret it? No, not really. Did I repent? Yeah, okay.. I did. The point is, I decided to step up and be what I felt like being at that exact moment. I haven't done that in a LONG time and that is so unlike me. I used to always say what I wanted to..exactly the way I wanted to..at the exact moment I wanted. But lately, that has not been the case.. until tonight. Maybe I didn't do it exactly in the most loving way... but hey, i'm working on it!

I'm super super excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas! These are my two fav. holidays!! Christmas music has somewhat surfaced. Christmas movies...oh, they've definitely surfaced. And holiday cheer is stronger this year than ever before.

God is good. He really is and he is doing so many crazy/weird/cool/so like him things... :)

"I feel a tiny pang of regret, as though I've lost a secret, and then a rush of exaltation: now everything begins."

This blog is going to be one of those that you may not understand exactly everything I am saying, but someday in time all will be revealed.

I don't know if that quote makes any sense to you. But it finally makes sense to me.. I read it the other night and thought to myself "that's a cool quote" and while I got what it was saying, I didn't understand it fully. Last night, I saw that quote in a completely new light. There's something about releasing things you've held back for YEARS into the ears and heart of someone else.. I will not lie there is a TINY pang of regret as if "oh my gosh, i have lost something sacred that only I fully understood." But then theres a sense of .. "now that it IS out..everything can begin." Whatever "everything" may be. I honestly have to say that stronger than the pang of regret comes the excitement and you realize that something in your life is about to change and that regardless of everything works out the way you're thinking... there's a freedom in speaking the truth, there's a freedom in releasing the words that you said you could never say. Thank God, there is beauty in the breakdown. Life is crazy and I can't even tell you what i'm expecting or what God is going to do, I don't know. But I know that he is good. I know that God has not let all of this crazy situation be in vein.

making history!

So i am aware that it's almost 3 am. It's not that i'm not exhausted... I am. I guess I am just thinking of so much. Here's what's up:

to start off..i got an amazing cd from a friend. The artist's name is Mandy Mabes. She's not famous, but oh she should be! Her songs have just been speaking to me so much! Thank you Jesus.

Christmas music started today!!! I had every intention of pulling it out on Nov. 1, but time has not permitted. But it came out today---ah, I love it!

I'm fully loving fall right now. I am loving this "perfect, mellow, messy, leaf kicking, perfect pause between summer and winter." God always teaches me more in this season than ANY other. There's just something about the autumn when he decides to shift my world and teach me some CRAZY and INSANE lesson. This years...is mind boggling, earth shattering and absolutely wonderful.

I've just recently been enlightened to how much i've grown in the last 5 years. I've even had people comment about it. I cannot believe I've gotten to this place..rather, I cannot believe how AMAZING God has been to get me to this place. During the entire thing I was miserable and he had to drag me while I was kicking and screaming, but thankfully he did it despite my protests! Now, I see the whole other side of everything and how absolutely NECESSARY all of it was! I know that we all have those days when we wake up and say--"i wish i would've trusted God more, because it all turned out okay." I am at that place and while all my questions have not been answered and maybe things haven't exactly unfolded completely, I'm finding that things are NOT as they seem. Let me just say, God is making history!

Decisions have still not been made..that have to be made. Honestly, some things are going to HAVE to be taken care of before a decision can be made. The only way for those things to happen is for me to get out of bed and go for it. While there's always a fear of everything coming to the surface and changing.. there's always an excitement that comes as well. The thing is..sunrise and sunset, i'm watching life pass before my eyes. The truth is my friends, I have to get these things worked out so that I can make the decision about the next few years of my life. I'm afraid, yes, but I know that God has a CRAZY/AMAZING plan that is going to make everything i've been through worthwhile! :)

I'd appreciate prayer during this time, but know that God is good and he has you exactly where he wants you and whatever you're going through today, is going to be worth it!

"..and our lives were less than ordinary, but while I couldn't see past tomorrow, God was making history."

i've been praying for this.

I love pictures. I have always been somewhat fascinated with them; how they freeze a moment in time and you can truly keep it forever. Yet, I have always been somewhat disappointed that no matter how wonderful a picture or how talented the photographer, a picture never captures perfectly what our eyes see. I see a camera as almost a counterfeit of what God has made. Don't get me wrong, I love pictures, I will continue to take them and I think they can 100% bring glory to God. I think what I'm saying though is that God made our eyes to take in some of the most beautiful things, they are perfect lenses..and he made our memory to keep those images with us always. A camera, is just the same thing. Except unfortunately, the lenses never quite measures up to the ones God has made and they never see the object of it's focus as beautiful as someone looking at it with only their eyes. Today was one of the most beautiful days and I am convinced that no matter the photographer they could've never captured it perfectly. Camera lenses will just never compare to our eyes that God has made. Not only that, they cannot capture our feelings perfectly either. While you can get an emotion from looking at a photograph (which is one of my fav. things about them) you can not feel all that they originally contained, because you are no longer in that moment...or for an onlooker, they were never in that moment.

I am not sure what made me think of this today..but it's been on my mind. That this season of my life, no one can quite capture or wrap their mind around it. It's something that I can't explain in words, art, music, pictures.. it's just beyond all of that. It is glorious, yet it is heart wrenching, it is familiar and somehow completely new. It is everything I said I never wanted, but secretly I've been desperate for it for such a long time. I am ready for whatever God is about to do. I'm so ready.

should've been much further than this by now..a little bit more gone, a little less twisted around.

There may be many reasons for me being a dreamer. One of them being that it is one of the meanings of my name. Or it could be all the ridiculous Disney movies I was forced to watch as a child. I always picked the realistic ones.. 101 Dalmations, Lion King..those were my favorites. Completely realistic (well..mostly) and then of course my sister and cousin would pick the ones like Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Cinderella...the completely ridiculous and irrational ones. As much as I HATED them, they made me watch them. Now perhaps they are to blame for my being a dreamer. Most of the time it doesn't come up and cause a problem. Here recently I think it is to blame for a lot of the things I've been dealing with. Don't get me wrong...dreams can be a wonderful thing. They give us hope and something to look forward to. The only problem is when our dreams become completely unrealistic. I think perhaps that has become my problem. Rather than sticking with the realistic dreams I had as a child and my logical thoughts.. I decided to go out on a limb and come up with dreams that honestly make no sense for my life. I don't know what has happened to me.. I don't know where my logic went. Some people would encourage completely irrational dreams..and in some cases, that's okay. But when it comes to lifelong decisions...you cannot completely abandon rational thinking..can you? I don't really know what's provoking me to write this.. but I guess I'm just starting to realize that maybe everything i've worked for up until this point..has been for all the wrong reasons and for the purpose of accomplishing some COMPLETELY irrational and illogical dreams. Perhaps it's time to move forward with a clear mind and get my head back where it needs to be. Does this make my decisions any EASIER? No, not at all. But does it point out the consequences that will inevitably follow if I choose an irrational one...yes, somewhat. So, I still have not come to any conclusions, but I'm starting to rule out some of the choices..so i'm getting closer.

love.

Terrible Tuesdays

Tuesdays are always super dramatic for me. They normally start off pretty good with the girls accountability breakfast group. Of course, it's always after that when the devil decides to attack me. Fall is my favorite season, but always the hardest. Driving down the roads that are covered with leaves and listening to Taylor Swift's first cd on a Tuesday morning is NEVER a good idea for me. Yet, somehow that is where I found myself today. I finally came to my senses and said "Ash, you are being ridiculous! You really are." Then of course, I come home and come face to face with some of the most aggravating things in the world. I hate when this happens. I always think I'm getting past things and then of course Tuesday morning comes and I find that it is just not so. So now I have a choice to make...how to spend the rest of my day. I have yet to figure it out, but I'm going to make today count for something. It's not going to be just one of "those" Tuesdays..that end in misery and leave me praying that somehow next week I will miraculously be able to skip Tuesday all together. Be expecting a blog that tells about how this turned out to be an AMAZING Tuesday. Just wait.

5 am is not so fantastic.

Goodmorning! If you are reading this and you've seen the time stamp you are probably thinking..."ASHLIN IS UP AT 5 AM?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?" Ahh..yes, this is not normal. My sleep patterns are SOO messed up. I went to sleep at like 11:45. Got up at like 3:30 and was wide awake, now I cannot go back to sleep for ANYTHING.

I'm just sitting in my bed right now, listening to some country music (oh yes), and thinking about the events of today and all the things I need to get done. Transcripts for one. Oil change (IS A MUST). Figuring out WHERE exactly I'm going to apply...and about a million other things. These next couple of days are going to be INSANE, so i'm going to need some serious prayer!

Pray also for my sleep habits. They need some SERIOUS help.

Love, Ashlin

scattered thoughts

It's finally October!! I am not one bit sad to see September go. While the ending of September was quite marvelous, the month of October has started out amazing! God is doing GREAT things here...Here's a list of all my jumbled thoughts:

1) Tomorrow is going to be AMAZING. Not only tomorrow, but next week. I am just going to go ahead and DECIDE that they will all be AMAZING days. I've found that most of the time works.

2) I twisted my ankle today, I'm hoping Jesus miraculously heals it tonight. I think he will--just sayin.

3) I think I was bitten by about 5 black widows, not really...but kind of.

4) I just ate a banana that was about one day from rotten-ness; I'm glad I rescued it. I am in the mood to watch a movie, but I don't know what to watch. Perhaps MyLifetime.Com has something.

5) I'm in the mood to bake fall-like things. I don't bake; but if I did... I would.

6) I'm offically in the midst of choosing my future. That whole "two roads diverged in a wood" thing that Frost was talking about....yeah, I think it was prophetic for my life. Eh..."that hath made all the difference" the path the poet chose made all the difference in his life. No pressure for me...right?

7 )My vision is getting slightly worse, this bothers me. Yet, if I get glasses I will be more attractive. So says some stupid statistic online. All that would be left to do is get blonde hair and change my eye color to blue. Yeahhh, right.

8) I am one of those people that puts a song on repeat for days. It's not a good thing.

9) I am bitter that I got made fun of (MAJORLY) for liking the song "Dream" by Priscilla Ahn..and now that it was in Bride Wars, everyone likes it. That's just not cool.

10) I think my dog died and that my parents bought a clone to fake me out...she all of a sudden has a different personality. Either that...or they're drugging her.

11) I don't understand those people who think it is necessary to tweet 80 times a day. I don't think that's healthy.

12) I had a lean cuisine and saltines for dinner. That's sad.

13) I started watching season 1 of Saving Grace. I think it's the stupidest show I've ever seen.

14) I want to do something outrageous this week. I haven't figured out what it will be yet, but I'm going to do it....

15) My dad is eating a disgusting sandwich and laying on my bed.....it's hilarious and I think it's banana and mayo. He must've rescued the last banana. Go Dad!

I have fallen in love with fall

Hey friends! I am writing this as I wait for a phone call that will confirm plans for tomorrow and Tuesday. I have been so busy these past couple of days, after this phone call I will no doubt fall into bed and sleep as long as possible. Today, on my drive home from church..the colorful leaves started falling from the tree and the crisp air was streaming through my car and I thought to myself.. "FALL IS HERE!" and I just sat basking in the wonderfulness that is fall. I absolutely love it, because as you all know it is such a sign of change...and that is EXACTLY what is happening in my life right now. I wish I had the time to explain everything, but there are just not enough words and not enough time. God is moving in such amazing ways and I am just truly LOVING it. Although it is not how I had planned, his plans truly are better than mine and I am trusting that! These next few days are going to be SWAMPED. So keep me in your prayers!

love!

Wake Me Up When September Ends

To start off...the season premiere of BONES is tonight. I'm overly excited about this! I just got into BONES a few months ago. On a family trip to the beach, Jordan and I grew bored one afternoon so we made a wal-mart trip...randomly bought the first season of BONES and my obsession began then. I watched one every night (sometimes two or three) for the remainder of the trip and continued watching them when I got home and purchased the second and third seasons. Then I searched until I found all the episodes of season 4 online and watched them. So pretty much...I'm super excited about tonight.
So a lot has happened in the past few weeks that I guess i've failed to update about. I took a beach trip with the youth leadership and that was an interesting experience for me. The trip tested me in a lot of ways and despite the fact that I think I may have failed a few of those tests...some of them I passed and they will not have to be taken again--at least for now. I found myself learning a lot about silence and only speaking what the LORD says. It's my nature to mouth off and say whatever I want or whatever I'm thinking...but the LORD silenced me on that trip and would only let me say the things that he wanted. It was a humbling experience. I realized that about 85% of everything I say is random and only 15% is what really needs to be heard.
As for everything else... my sleep has not been doing well, once again. I hate when I get in these modes. I'm just going to have to pray my way out of it. It seems to be the only remedy to my insomnia.
I've been living in the past a lot lately. There's something about this season and even this particular month of the year that always makes me back track and go into a season of rememberance. September has always been a crucial month in my life..seems that some of the most significant days in my life took place in September. While I am not one to wish my life away--when September rolls around i'm always ready for it to end due to fear that something else crazy will occur. For once i'd like September to represent something GOOD in my life. September this year has been relatively quiet, but it's not over yet. Maybe that's why i've been sleeping so much lately...In the words of Green Day. "Wake Me Up when September Ends."

just a little update

So i'll just do a really small update as of right now...

I just got home from the beach and i'm so exhausted. It was a good trip though and God taught me more than I imagined. The truth is, i'm downloading it all NOW...hours later. I couldn't see when I was in the midst of everything what exactly he was doing, but now it is all starting to make sense. I don't really know how to explain what is going through my mind right now, but Colbie Caillat understands..as always. A lot of really heart changing things happened to me the past couple of days and I wasn't as ready for them as I thought. They're good though and I will update you more as the week goes on.

But until then.. I have to sleep! Not only did I just get home from the beach..when I did I went straight to the Tent Revival tonight. Needless to say, the computer screen is starting to blur.

love,

ashlin

Doggy Dooms Day

So, I finished my first project for this year just a few minutes ago. I must say, i'm quite proud of how well I think I did. I mean, granted my mother is my teacher and she's probably NOT going to fail me...but as I read my own paper I was surprised how much I sounded like I knew exactly what I was talking about..almost as if I lived through it myself, except of course I didn't...My paper was pretty much about the history of the US economy and comparing Reagan to Obama.. Anyway, glad that ones over! Not excited to hear about the next one though.

My dog FINALLY got a haircut. It was quite an effort, but it happened. When I got home from the youth girl's breakfast yesterday morning.. I proceeded to check and make sure my dad had taken the dog for her appt. I go into the den and sure enough--he's sitting in his chair with his "i just woke up" hair do and his eyes partially closed. The dog of course, is at my feet barking and staring up at me (at least I think she was, I couldn't see her eyes through all of the hair!!!) I sighed and asked him what time she was supposed to be there. "Between 8 and 9" was his response. I looked at the clock, yep...it was 9:00. I shook my head, put the leash on her and informed my poor dad that I would take her.

Now, normally...my dog is jumping over the top of me as I try to steer the car. Jumping up on the window, barking at every person in every car, and falling out of the leather seats into the floor board and getting upset and jumping back up. She didn't do that this time. She came right over next to me, laid down in the seat beside me...and let me pet her the entire way there. It was so refreshing to actually be able to DRIVE the car while she was in there. This trip was looking hopeful!!

We get to the groomers and she jumps down into the floorboard, under the steering wheel and I unlock the doors and attempt to get out of the car. FAIL. The drivers side door is STUCK and I mean...stuck! I sat there for a good 5 minutes trying to open it, I didn't. SO I climbed over, got in the passengers seat and got out, ran to the other side and attempted to open the driver's side door from the outside. Still stuck. So I get BACK in on the passengers side and attempt to pull the dog over toward me. This didn't work well. Now not only was the driver's door stuck, the dog was stuck. She was stuck under the steering wheel and couldn't get to the passenger's side floorboard due to the gear shifter and couldn't get in the driver's seat to cross over, due to the fact she kept hitting her head on the steering wheel and I was fearing she would probably pass out if she continued to try. At this point, I'm laughing..because I am the ONLY person in the parking lot and I know the women inside are watching me, because the entire front of the building is glass. It hits me then to push the driver's seat as far back as possible and maybe she could get up without hitting her head. Well, I did..and she got up there, but not without knocking herself in the head one good time. She then jumped down into the floorboard on the passenger's side, but is apparently either too old to jump down onto the concrete, or just too afraid. So I had to pick her up and put her on the ground...but not without losing the leash from around her neck. Luckily, I got it back on her before she escaped. I then shut the passenger's side door and go inside the groomer's office.

Now, this is where it gets weird. I walk in and the entire staff of...3 ladies look at each other in complete surprise. Almost as if they didn't know I was coming. I'm left standing there, leash in one hand, the other on my hip and staring at them in complete confusion. We all stood there, wordlessly staring at one another for a good 3 and a half minutes before one woman nonchalantly said, "Can I help you?" I held up the leash as if to say, "My dog?" while, really I wanted to say, "Yes, I'll take a table for three!" and confuse her just as much as she was confusing me. After having to state the dog's name numerous times, they finally took her from me, but not before she wet the floor---TWICE. Then the woman who picked her up almost lost a finger, but at that point.. I couldn't really blame the dog..these people were being a little ridiculous. Now let me remind you, while all this is happening..we're all just standing, in complete silence. The woman standing at the computer then informs me that the dog needs a shot and I respond with "okay, whatever she needs." Then the woman holding my dog as if she is a grocery bag hoisted on her hip asks ME what time I WANT to come get her. I wanted to say, "I'll take her NOW and go find someone who understands how to do all of this." But I just looked at her, dumbfounded and opened my mouth to say, "What time will you be done?" When she interrupted me and blurted out 4:30. I shook my head and know I must have been giving her a "look", but I didn't care.. I just walked out as they all yelled "BYE" in a friendly manner behind me, as if we had all just had the most enjoyable experience of our lives.

Getting out to the car, I reach to open the door and apparently was pulling it with force, because I was catipulted 12 inches backwards. REJECTED. I had forgotten the door was stuck. So, I walked over the passengers seat, climbed over, stomped on the gas and got out of that place.

Just so you know, my dog DID survive. And that was NOT my car..it was my parent's. My car's doors work properly...do not ask me why theirs do not.

Lessons Learned When Taking the Dog to the Groomers:
1) Just because your dog is remaining calm on the way there, does not mean she will stay that way when you arrive.

2) Don't assume just because you made an APPOINTMENT, that the groomer will expect you to arrive there.

3) You can choose ANY time to pick up the dog..because apparently, it doesn't matter what time they finish.

4) Take your own car when driving to the groomers.

5) Know that your poor dad DOESN'T understand the concept of "appointment."

6) It doesn't matter if you let your dog pee outside before you take her, because she will still go when you take her inside.

7) Carry a big sign that says "My dog's name is ____________ (insert proper name here)" when you go, or they will not know what to do.

8) Just because you're at the groomers, with a leash in hand and an exceptionally furry dog at your feet...don't assume they will know why you're there.

9) When 3 employees are working: One will attempt to get the dog (and almost lose limbs). One will stand over the computer, with her eyebrows furrowed, confused at why it says your dog should get shot. The last, will stand with her nail file just staring at the other two wondering why the other two actually bothered to move.



Love,
Ashlin

Is something about to break?

So there's this Mat Kearney song that became pretty popular a few years ago, called "Nothing Left to Lose" and a few years ago, I remember my sister and I singing this song so many times at moments in our lives when we felt God was about to do something huge. We'd always sing:

"Something's in the air tonight
the sky's alive with a burning light
you can mark my words,
something's 'bout to break"

and it's almost as if you could have marked our words, because something always broke. Maybe it's a stretch to call it "prophetic" that it always rose up in our spirits at a certain time in our lives...but i'm willing to make the leap and say it was. What I find exceptionally dissapointing is that I haven't heard those lines uttered to my spirit in a long time and it's somewhat heart wrenching. Maybe it's just that God is speaking a different way now and he's trying to mix things up a little, I'm not really sure.

I know that things are changing dramatically in my life though. This is definitely what I'd call a "new season" and it's scary. Tonight a few of us gathered and "kidnapped" our friend Melissa who is leaving for Israel on Thursday. It hit me tonight how bittersweet the farewell is going to be. I am going to miss this woman of God terribly. She's always there to help me out and talk me down when I'm going a little crazy. Then again, an excitement is in me for her. To send someone you love out to do the things that you yourself hope to do one day is encouraging in an unexplainable way.

I remember being little and my dad coming in my room to wake me up for school and he would yell "wake up, teddy bears are going on a picnic!" and he would jerk all of the covers off of me. I used to get so angry when he would pull the covers off. I was cold, uncomfortable and forced to move. That's where I am today with God. He's pulled the security blankets off of me and I am left cold, uncomfortable and forced to move! I've been begging, praying, seeking and yelling for God to help me and give me the answers to these questions burning in my soul. He gives me the answers, but they're answers I was expecting and answers I didn't want to hear. They're the BEST answers, yes.... but uncomfortable and somewhat difficult and annoying. I guess what I'm trying to say is now God is moving me into a completely new season and rather than having the people who have been there with me through the transition of the other seasons in my life...they're out fulfilling God's plan for their lives. It's scary, I'm not going to lie. I'm trying to be ready though and I'm trying to believe that whether I hear the Mat Kearney lyrics in my head or not....that something is IN FACT about to break.

Love,
Ashlin :)

The Beginning of the End

These past few days have been crazy. They've included a work day, a cook out with the Bhutanese from church, a solo trip to the mountains, sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, a lunch & car decorating day with Sarah for our last day of summer, and the girl's breakfast this morning. Today is the official start of my senior year. I actually found myself tearing up at the thought. I cannot believe how fast time has flown. People always told me, "those four years of high school will fly by!" I didn't believe them, but they were right.

Although things have been a little crazy, God has been so good! I wish I had the energy to update you on more, but like I said...things are busy. Today is the beginning of the end of a huge chapter in a person's life. It's one of the most exciting things ever, I can't believe I actually got here. Then again, it's sad. Growing up is a always a bittersweet thing. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this year, it's going be a good year and I'm going to embrace it. My motto for this year is "You only live once!" I'm going to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way and just have fun and enjoy this time in my life.

I'll update more when my schedule allows for it and I'm not so exhausted. Getting up so early the past week has started to get to me. Have a great day!

love, ashlin :)

Talk about BAD timing.

They say timing is everything. I personally think it's hilarious that i'm writing this at 4:34 am and I have to be up in about 4 and 1/2 hours to go to church, but nevertheless...i'd like to discuss BAD timing.

I think I can speak from experience when I say I know something about BAD timing. Just recently (like within the last 10 minutes) I have learned an entire new definition of the concept "bad timing." I've been praying through this INSANELY crazy situation in my life....and just seeking and FINALLY answers are coming and breakthrough is close and I receive a text message that is intended to complicate it ALL. And it has, for a moment, and I am wondering..WHY NOW? WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN? Why would God allow such a thing to happen just as I am on the edge of breakthrough? I wish I knew. Maybe to teach me something, maybe as a test.. I don't know and I won't pretend to understand his mysterious ways. I do know this though, that I cannot waiver on truth and what is right..regardless of any texts or anything else that happens. I know that I cannot let any feelings be swayed because of anything like that.. but I know this, what BAD TIMING to get such a text. It's one of the many things I love about a lot of the people in my life..they all have EXCEPTIONALLY BAD TIMING. I wish I could convey how true this is. It's almost as if some of them are PROGRAMMED to know when it would be MOST inconvenient to come to me..and they PURPOSEFULLY decide to execute their "plans" then. You have no idea how often this happens to me. It's almost humorous to me now. I guess I will have to address this situation when I awake in 4 and 1/2 hours and I will deal with it then. Until that time, I just wanted to vent for a moment.

God's timing is perfect. No doubt about that.
And he knows everything that will happen, before it happens......right?
Sooo...one must conclude he knew this would happen..
Meaning: He has some kind of plan.

I believe that. I have to believe that.

it's getting better all the time.

So last night... I started complaining. It's been happening a lot lately, and I'm not proud of it. Anyways, I started complaining about having nothing to do with my time. "Well, be careful what you wish for...cause you just might get it all (and then some you don't want)." I'm super excited because I have a lot of things coming up soon and so I'm amazed and grateful that the Lord has answered that prayer. As for getting up earlier, I have been doing a lot better and I'm so thankful for that. It's 11:16 and I'm already tired and ready for bed..which is an AWESOME accomplishment for me! :) Tonight was so good..all day has been completely great. I've spent the entire day laughing like crazy. I went through my 90 millionth license check tonight. I go through them more often than anyone I know. (Maybe it's a sign to start a witnessing ministry to the police! HA!) Anyway, tonight I went through and as soon as I saw the blue lights as I turned the corner, I grabbed my purse and had my license in hand, hanging out of my window when I pulled up. The seven or eight cops standing there all looked at each other in confusion. I've yet to figure out if it was because I was so eagerly prepared, or because it wasn't really a license check....haha I'm not really sure what was going on. Anyway, the fact that they all looked at each other like I was completely nuts for handing them my license and the cop nearest to me fumbled around with a confused look on his face.. saying "ohhh?" and took it... By then I just bursted out laughing with Sarah (who was in the passengers seat) and the next cop proceeded to ask what we were laughing at when Sarah said "You". He looked at us for a second confused and then Sarah continued (in a hilarious country accent) "We're just happy...we love Jesus!" Which then the cop bursted out laughing as well...and we laughed all the way home. It was one of the most enjoyable "license checks" (if that's what it really was) that i've ever been through..and trust me, I go through my share of them.

So my plan for this moment is to get some sleep and wake up early(ish) tomorrow and do some productive things. Things have been staying clean around our house (probably because I clean a lot) but nevertheless it's a blessing and I'm thankful for it. Things are happening. God is moving. and Life is getting better and I'm so thankful for it. I needed some breakthrough and it's finally coming. Granted, I'm going to be facing some things in the next few days that cannot be defined as "cake" but i'm convinced that God knows EXACTLY what he is doing :)

I love all of you! Thanks for reading :)

sleeping the day away....

My morning started off at 11:00 and I woke up and realized that I had nothing to do today. I rolled back over and went back to sleep. I woke up several more times before pulling myself out of bed at 1:30, Pathetic... I know! When I finally crawled out of bed this morning. I went trapzing into the kitchen to get my "first thing when i wake up soft drink" (don't freak..it was diet! So that makes it more respectable...right??) and my mother comes to me and hugs me saying, "There she is! She's awake... My friend! There's my friend!" I know I must have looked at her like she was a few crayons short of the full box, but it was an odd thing to say. Anyway, it made me laugh...so I figured i'd share it with you. Then I proceeded to bathe my dog, talk to Jordan (yay!), and then come across something I didn't really want to think about ... but it is inevitably being pushed in my face. I love the whole "Surrender this to me, dear child!" thing that God says, and then it still ends up poking you in the rear and you find yourself shaking your head and saying, "Remind me how to surrender it if it won't leave me alone?" that's kind of how I feel today. It's okay though, it's a process! Surrender is a process.

My to do list for the rest of the day looks a little something like this:

1. make my bed (that i am still sitting in at....3:48)
2. take a shower
3. get dressed
4. go get coffee
5. read my wonderful Bible
6. return movies from family movie night
7. hang out with some friends

So sadly, my day will begin at about 4:00 today, but that is okay! God has mercy on me. Thank you Jesus! I know what all of you are probably thinking (because it's probably what I hear 17 times a day): "Get a job you lazy bum! Get up and do something with your life!" Well, while I don't disagree... I am still claiming it "summer vacation" until Aug. 25 or so. I hope that all is well with each of you and that you found yourself out of bed at a respectable time today and have had a productive day thus far...pray that I'll start doing that. I need to do that.

Love, Ashlin :)

Day of Rest

So... This morning, I woke up at 12. I realize that is completely pitiful, but considering we just finished a three day conference at church and I barely got any sleep, I needed the day to sleep in. The conference was absolutely amazing and God did so many awesome things. He did a lot in my life personally and I know that some things I experienced will forever change my life! I miss being in the presence of God corporately, but I'm so thankful that I can be in his presence at any given time! Anyway, I went and had lunch at the famous Elizabeth's Pizza today. My friend Sarah and I always go there on our lunch dates! It's one of the reasons we're such great friends, because she's the only other person I know (besides myself) who is obsessed with Elizabeth's and gets amped up about their lunch special! I have to say that today is going to be my lazy day, I'm sitting in my bed right now just relaxing in pajamas. I've spent the last week cleaning this house and I need some time to recover! We've been remodeling since May and I'm so glad to see it coming to a close! It all started when my room flooded while I was in Montreat with Jordan......I had no idea that one pipe bursting would cause so much damage, but my room has been done for a while...so we just decided to re-do everything! The kitchen looks like a dream compared to before and the living room looks twice it's former size! It's a blessing to have everything put together! I enjoyed the little bit of time I had by myself this weekend in my clean home. I felt accomplished after cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping, taking care of the dog...but I will admit it's exhausting! Props to all the mom's who do it alone...DAILY! So anyway, after all of that...I'm designating today a "day of rest!" I'm thinking of watching Echelon Conspiracy in a little bit, it looks super good! I have a weird fascination with government conspiracy type stuff....I always have. That's probably why when my friend Melissa introduced me to the tv show ALIAS I watched the entire series (5 seasons) in about a week and a half. I'm so ADD, I somehow just got off on writing this and was watching an interview with Kate Gosselin and then read John Mark Mcmillans blog... apparently I lack the skill of focusing. (P.S. John Mark's blog was excellent today, so go read it!) So that's been my day so far! I'm going to devise a plan on how to get the dog back onto the porch and out of my room! Hope you all have a blessed one!