"I feel a tiny pang of regret, as though I've lost a secret, and then a rush of exaltation: now everything begins."

This blog is going to be one of those that you may not understand exactly everything I am saying, but someday in time all will be revealed.

I don't know if that quote makes any sense to you. But it finally makes sense to me.. I read it the other night and thought to myself "that's a cool quote" and while I got what it was saying, I didn't understand it fully. Last night, I saw that quote in a completely new light. There's something about releasing things you've held back for YEARS into the ears and heart of someone else.. I will not lie there is a TINY pang of regret as if "oh my gosh, i have lost something sacred that only I fully understood." But then theres a sense of .. "now that it IS out..everything can begin." Whatever "everything" may be. I honestly have to say that stronger than the pang of regret comes the excitement and you realize that something in your life is about to change and that regardless of everything works out the way you're thinking... there's a freedom in speaking the truth, there's a freedom in releasing the words that you said you could never say. Thank God, there is beauty in the breakdown. Life is crazy and I can't even tell you what i'm expecting or what God is going to do, I don't know. But I know that he is good. I know that God has not let all of this crazy situation be in vein.