what's love got to do with it?

Every day I hear the same question in my mind. It sounds stupid, but nevertheless it runs through my mind every day. "Can you hate and love someone at the same time?" I don't think you can, but then again that doesn't explain the current predicament i'm in. Can you hate everything a person does or stands for or says... and that not necessarily mean you HATE the person...? Isn't a person made up of their thoughts, actions, beliefs and ideas? If you hate all of those things...doesn't that mean you hate that person? Maybe not. Maybe you love them as they were made. You love them through God's eyes. You love them unconditionally. That your love does not depend on what they say or do.. or do not say or do. But rather just because they are living and breathing and you are called to love them. Sometimes I don't like what my family does or says.. but I still love them. I guess it's the same with everyone else.

I guess this is just a current thought running through my mind. I don't understand love. But then again, i'm not called to understand EVERY LITTLE DETAIL about it.. i'm just called to walk in it. I don't always feel like it, but I know that only good can come from giving love.

I had the best day with you today.

Just wanted to update and say that things have been so interesting today. This past week and a half..or really these past few weeks have been very difficult. I've just been begging God to somehow break through and give me strength. It finally seemed that today I found it. Despite the fact that i had to work and that I received some disappointing news at work, God was there. Somehow circumstances didn't seem to matter with him next to me. I'm excited that he is giving me strength to get through these crazy times. I'm excited that he's giving me revelation upon revelation. He's also giving me tons of inspiration. Thats a good little combo to have going.

Now, I'm going chill some more and TRY to get some sleep. I've loaded up on Reese Cups and Pixie Sticks, which is not the best combo before bed!

Hope you're all doing well!

love, ashlin

bored and busy days

So here's the update that you asked for. Not a whole lot has been going on, but it feels like I've been going non-stop. This week has been far too busy for my own good. I have been in bed ALL day today and it feels WONDERFUL. I am 100% dreading having to get up in a few hours. Tomorrow, I have to work. Since it's only 2 1/2 hours, I will survive, but I really just want to stay in bed and eat.

I feel like I haven't slept in five days. I technically didn't REALLY sleep much for three, but I got a lot of sleep last night. So, I don't understand why I'm feeling like someone ran over me. I'm glad I took my shower last night, because the chance of me moving to take one today is about slim to none.

I have absolutely no idea what to write. I'm watching As The World Turns, it's thoroughly weird today. Allison just yelled to that nasty guy that played on Guiding Light "Why are you in my head and I can't get you out?" Yuck! Electroshock therapy may do her some good.

I ordered Mansfield Park on DVD! It should be here by Friday or Saturday! I'm overly excited. My new found love for Jonny Lee Miller probably isn't healthy, but he's a good standard to have. If I say "no less than him" the chance of me settling in life is zero. Then again, the chance of me ever getting married is also probably zero. Jordan, you will love that movie! I have taken up a new love for all movies/mini-series that are inspired by Jane Austen books. Dang, that reminds me, I was going to go to the library and get one of her books! WELL, i still have time! I may definitely do that!! I want to read Emma and Mansfield Park.

I'm hungry. I made myself a turkey sandwich, but it was absolutely DREADFUL. I ate half of it and gave the other half to the dog. Packaged/Processed turkey meat is terrible, absolutely terrible.

Well, that's all that's going on as of today! Enjoy my boring life!

life before Jordan goes back to school

8 a.m. the alarm clock rings. I do not hear it. Jordan hits snooze 15 times. We then jump out of bed, throw on hideous clothes and run out the door. It's of course our job to take the dog to the groomer this morning. We struggle getting her into the car (as usual) and then finally hoist her in there and I drive with my eyes wide open, looking like I just got botox, to keep myself awake. We wrangle her inside and watch as she happily jumps around. We look at one another in confusion. Our spoiled, selfish, whiny dog...enjoying herself..around other dogs? We sit and wait and this precious lady in her cute little outfit with her precious yorkshire terrier walks by and looks down at our long haired and shameful shih-tzu who looks nothing like a shih-tzu. The woman comments "Oh, she's so cute." If I had been given the chance to have a cup of coffee, I would have gladly gotten up and discussed a bartering deal for our dogs. Finally, we hand her over to the groomer without a fuss. We come home and WASTE time on our computers and then get up to make Dad a birthday lunch. Technically, his birthday is tomorrow, but Jordan leaves for school in the morning so the celebrating came early this year. We decided to make chicken alfredo. Sounds good, sounds easy, but for two girls who know NOTHING about the kitchen, it wasn't as easy as people make it seem. After cooking two pieces of chicken for what seemed like 18 years, they finally finished. We began to cook the sauce, realizing we didn't have enough of the alfredo stuff in the packet. I got creative and decided to whip up my own recipe and throw some stuff together. Surprisingly, my recipe was better than the packet....go figure. We then baked a cake (which turned out PERFECTLY) and iced it and served it all up. I was exceptionally proud of us.

Then I headed off to work. My kids were hysterical today. I think my favorite occurrence of the day was when my most entertaining child proceeded to tell the group that Robin Hood was about a girl who planted seeds and ate big bear's porridge. What do they teach kids in school these days? After 2 and a half hours with some amazing kids, I headed home to pick up the pup from the groomer. She was crazy wild and jumping all over the place. Fortunately, when she jumped on my steering wheel and caused me to swerve on the opposite of the road the oncoming car was a good mile away. Thank you Jesus.

The rest of the day played out as almost all Thursdays do. Just chilling, a little cleaning and a lot of surfing the net. Just thought I'd share the day with all of you.

2009 Memories...

So I wanted to do this just for the fun of it!! Some of the things I list ARE NOT from 2009, but that's when I discovered them..so TECHNICALLY..they are My Top Things of 2009. Enjoy!

My Top Albums for 2009

John Mayer "Battle Studies"

The Fray "You Found Me"

Needtobreathe "The Outsiders"
Rascal Flatts "Unstoppable"
Jason Reeves "Patience for the Waiting"

Mat Kearney "City of Black and White"

Mayday Parade "A Lesson in Romantics"
Eli Young Band "Jet Black & Jealous"

Lady Antebellum "Lady Antebellum"

My Top Songs of 2009

Half Of My Heart-John Mayer

In My Bones- Andy Gullahorn

Assasin-John Mayer

Wishing Weed-Jason Reeves

For You-Peter Bradley Adams

Never Look Back-Zach Berkman

Everytime I See You-Luke Bryan

World of Chances-Demi Lovato

Say Say Say-Sean McConnell

To Know Your Name-HillsongUnited

Valley of Tomorrow-Needtobreathe

Happiness-The Fray

My Top Movies for 2009
Love Happens

The Blindside

The Proposal

Taken

The Painted Veil

Montana Sky

It Had To Be You

The Time Traveler's Wife

New Year, New Look.

So I changed my blog look a little. Maybe it's a little dull, I don't care.

Today, the girls and I took a road trip to see our Great Aunt and Great Uncle. It was so great to spend time with them and just to get out of town for a little while. It made me think a lot about the future and the four hours riding time was just a good time to sort and organize all of the insane and crazy thoughts I've been dealing with. I don't feel like I really got any clear answers to all of my questions, but I feel a little calmer and at least like I have a handle on a few things I didn't before.

I don't know much, but I know that I need to have a cleaning day....SOON. Perhaps, I will clean tomorrow. Things are just chaotic and they tend to get that way (and stay that way for a few weeks) around the holidays. Hopefully soon things are going to calm down and I'll get into a regular routine for the year.