I have been blessed.

Today is all about blessings. Seriously, I am so beyond blessed and today is a day that I truly see it and am thankful beyond what words could ever express.

After the day I had yesterday with some kids who I truly think are the sweetest in the world, I am so thankful for everything God has given me and I am thankful for my parents!

Also, I'm extremely thankful for this mac that I am using right now. Jesus knew that I needed a new computer! He provided an AMAZING one for an AMAZING price!! I couldn't be more grateful! I'm super excited and I LOVE HIM sooo much!

I just wanted to say...take time to look around at all the things God has given you. Have you thanked him today? Have you told him how grateful you are to have food, clothes, shelter, a computer, a car? Give him GLORY! He is SO very worthy.

Love,

Ashlin

Spring has Sprung!

I'm up at 8:45. This never happens. Actually, I was up at 6:15, which seriously NEVER happens. My morning started off with breakfast with one of my favorite people of all time and has now continued by reading up on random celeb gossip and enjoying some John Mark Mcmillan.

Yesterday was the start of spring cleaning. It was good and much needed, but absolutely EXHAUSTING. I am just glad that my portion of it is over and I can now rest and feel like I accomplished something! I have to get to work on these millions of labels today, so that too will be exhausting.

New episode of Grey's tonight! I'm pumped because there wasn't one last week and I was super bummed out about it!

I keep getting distracted from this update...so I will just end it! :) Hope you all have an awesome Thursday!

Hello...my name is Ashlin and I'm a fix-a-holic.

I feel like by writing this I'm imitating a person at an AA meeting or something. Sadly, all I'm about to write is true, but admitting it is the first step..............right?

So, I'm a fix-a-holic. I want to fix, fix, fix. I'm not like the typical person who wants to fix. I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH FIXING. If I am not in control of a situation to the point where I can fix it... I go bizerk and I lose my mind, my keys, my sleep, my happiness and everything else. I sit in front of a tv for hours and hours watching Grey's Anatomy weeping. Seriously. In a current situation I'm dealing with, I've been sitting back saying "I can't fix this...I won't fix this... I can't." WELL...I did!!! Or I tried to, or something. Then it hits me....I don't really care if it's fixed. I feel like an alcoholic who just threw their beer in a trashcan. I'm staring down in the can in shock and thinking to myself "What if i want it later? should i just store it away? that stuff is dang expensive...etc." I am not saying I'm cured, I'm not even saying I'm necessarily happy about my decision. Before I know it.. I could be downing another bottle of "fix" tomorrow. All I know is that tonight, I do not want it to be fixed. I don't want it to be broken... but I don't want to fix it. In fact, I don't really care either way.

I just want God to give me what he wants for me. I just want to be happy and well...all the CRAP (yes, crap) that goes along with this situation DOESN'T make me happy. I don't know what I want right now other than Jesus to give me what he wants me to have. When I try to get what I want... I just get a fix-it hangover (which are probably just as bad as a real one...but I wouldn't know.)

My point is....I am not in control and I don't really care. If I get EVERYTHING I ever wanted that's great...if not, then I'll take whatever is handed to me. What other option do I have anyways?

Now, i'm going fo fill out 12349234239123423498 labels and watch the news to see what happens with this healthcare catastrophe. God, help those people...they are all a bunch of fix-a-holics too...which is probably why I want to go into govt./law of some kind...birds of a feather, right?

washed by his blood.

I just wanted you all to know.. I hate doing the dishes. It is one of the only things about cleaning I TRULY hate. It's strange though, because it seems like every time I am in the middle of washing dishes a peace comes over me. It's like everything else tunes out except me and Jesus and the soapy dishes. Almost every time I do the dishes.. I get some kind of revelation from the Lord. Maybe I should do them more often.

Tonight my dad handed me this absolutely horrific dog bowl to take to Jordan who started out doing the dishes. It was beyond disgusting. Jordan got this look on her face like "Yeah...NOT gonna happen." Something in me switched gears and I had this crazy urge to wash this bowl. I then volunteered to do the dishes and started realizing something. I began to realize that when washing my dishes, my "favorite" dishes to wash are the dirtiest and most disgusting ones. I get some kind of strange joy out of watching them go from stained and gooped up to sparkly and clean. It's the weirdest thing. Then I started to remember when I was a kid and I LOVED playing in the mud. There was some kind of fascination about taking a bath and seeing all the mud and dirt come off and seeing myself become "sparkly and clean". I was laughing about this tonight as I was washing this horrific dog bowl and as I laughed, all of the background noise began to fade out and I began to hear the voice of the Lord. He spoke to me and told me how this strange joy and excitement I get about these random things...are qualities of his. I stood for a minute, curious, wondering what he would say next. Then he began to explain about how much joy he gets taking a dirty sinner and cleaning them up. He loves watching all the mud and grime run off and fall to the ground. He told me how much he loves to focus on the dirtiest of all..they are the most fun, they are the ones he likes to use. He likes to take the people that the people of the world roll their eyes at and give the "Yeah..NOT gonna happen" look. (No offense Jords.. I don't blame you for not wanting to clean that thing.) He loves taking what no one else would ever dream of wanting and making it into the most impressive and beautiful piece of china.

I can't help but smile about the fact that God talked to me about this tonight. He knows, of course, that I've been at my dirtiest here lately. He knows that I've been in a place of not understanding anything. He knows I've been at a place of laying down on the ground and saying.. "I can't clean up this mess." He's been getting a true joy out of cleaning it up. He doesn't gripe and complain when he sees my filth..he smiles and says "hand me the blood" (his version of soap). He takes that blood and lathers me up in it..and watches excitedly as it chases all the dirt and scum away. Then he pulls me up on his lap and tells me of his love and of his plans. I always feel it most during these times. I am thankful for these hard times. I know they mean so much to him..because they are the times that bring us closest. They are the times that my pride is gone and I have no choice but to run to the ONLY one who can clean up the messes I've made.

Revelation 1:5 "....All glory to him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by shedding his blood for us."

Life goes on....

Hello friends!

I just thought I'd give a quick update about my life. I just finished watching a 3 hour long movie called "Lost in Austen". I have to say, despite the fact it was INSANELY long, it was actually a rather good movie. I thought it brought a crazy cool spin to Pride and Prejudice.

Today was a good day. I somehow..someway feel breakthrough coming. I'm not 100% sure how exactly Jesus is going to pull this off... but I have NO doubt that he can :) I am excited to see what he has up his rather clever sleeve!

Jordan is on Spring Break and as luck would have it..we are set to go to the beach Wednesday! I am SUPER excited about this! I have been CRAVING the beach.. my last trip wasn't one of the best, so I need a redemption trip! I can't wait!!!!!

Tomorrow is going to be a BUSY day of cleaning, packing, appointments, writing thousands of labels and such..trying to get things in order! I hope you all are doing well! Love to you all!

Ashlin

new opportunities

They're coming out with a 4th movie in the series "The Prince and Me". This is just stupid, seriously. After the 3rd installment, I will NOT be watching the 4th. They should've stopped at Number 2. Truthfully, they should've stopped after Number 1. The second one was okay just because it still starred Luke Mably. It wasn't the same without Julia Stiles, but it was decent. Now, Luke Mably wasn't in the 3rd one and he of course won't be in the 4th one and so therefore they are pointless. I don't know who had the bright idea of continuing these movies... but they really need to move onto something new!

In about 30 min a new Grey's Anatomy episode will be on. I really hope something interesting happens and I really hope no more original characters get cut. They're getting too many new people and it's turning into a mess. I hope something good happens tonight....it's time for Grey's to step it up!

I've been making these little labels for my uncle's business. I'm truly grateful for the opportunity. But writing Mar 2012 by hand 10,000 times is time consuming and difficult. I will not complain though....the man's timing was PERFECT. My job at Sylvan ended on Monday and I got a call yesterday about this opportunity...I'm thankful the Lord is providing!

I will miss my Sylvan kids. They brought a lot of joy to my life. Their funny little habits and pretty much everything they would say was HYSTERICAL!!! I will truly miss it! I will leave you with a few of their cute quotes.

Little Girl: "My daddy always gives me everything I want. It doesn't matter how much money it is, he will get it for me!"

Little Boy: "...THATS JUST BAD PARENTING!"

2nd grade girl staring at me with mouth wide open: "Although I cannot identify you, you look like the girl Lily, from Hannah Montana."

Little Boy (talking to me): "Hey White cracker!"

Me: "My name is NOT white cracker!"

Little Boy: ohh...'scuse me.. MISS white cracker."

oh there are just so many more. I will miss my babies! Off to watch Grey's! Have a great night!

how precious life is...

Life is so precious. I'm realizing this more and more each passing day. As some of you know, 2 and a half years ago I lost a friend in a car wreck. His name was Travis and he was a wonderful guy. I think about him a lot and just recently I've been thinking about him more than usual. Last week, two guys from my former high school were also in a wreck. One survived, one did not. I sat down in disbelief and counted. From that school we had seen 6 serious wrecks in the four years we've been in High School. Tonight, I saw where another guy from my former school has been in a wreck and airlifted to a nearby hospital. I can't believe it. 7 Serious wrecks in 4 years. 3 of these resulted in death and 1 life still hangs in the balance. My heart breaks and I can't help but hope and pray that each of these kids who passed knew Jesus. I don't mean have just heard of him... but knew him and knew of his love. My heart desperately hopes they are with him now. As for those who lived... I hope that they come to know him through their tragic experiences. I pray that if the young man who has just been taken to the hospital doesn't know Jesus... I pray he will. I pray he will see Jesus through a miracle and come to be a radical Christian that changes the world.

My hope is also that the kids and people that have been apart of each of these lives will see Jesus in all of his love and mercy. I pray that people open their eyes to see that we only have one life to live..and we should live it for a Holy and wonderful savior..who gave everything for us. I hope people will see how we only get one shot. I hope people will see how precious time and life are.

Keep these families in your prayers. Keep this young man who is currently in the hospital in your prayers. Help me in praying that Jesus will shine through in this dark hour.

"We couldn't see it 'til now, but you were teaching us then...how precious life is."

"children get older..i'm getting older too"

It's officially my birthday. You know how every year people say..."how does it feel to be one year older?" and you say.. "oh good." but really..you're thinking "i feel EXACTLY the same." It's 12:16 and i've only been 1 year older for 16 minutes now... but I feel stinkin AWESOME! This is seriously one of those defining moments where I'm like "I REALLY FEEL A YEAR OLDER..AND I AM LOVING IT!" 18 is the big one... at least for most people. I've spent my entire life waiting to be 18...and now I am! Let me just say, IT FEELS GOOD. I feel like I've been running a marathon and I have finally reached a check point..a place of accomplishment. I know it's crazy. Trust me, I know.

So..what does this day hold for me? Who knows. I do know I have to work... WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD. Oh well, it's only for a few hours so i will survive. After that, I'm going to enjoy this day and party like its 2010.

I never thought i'd get here. 2010 seemed so far away..the year i'd graduate..become an adult..go to college. I can't believe it's happening. Praise God, it's happening. Change is here and I am loving it.

ashlin's anatomy.

I want you to know that I just spent the last 15 minutes crying over a tv show. Not like the typical crying where a few tears run down your face and you say.."aww or...ughh" or whatever. I'm talking crocodile tears that included weeping sounds. I'm not sure if i'm okay with this... it just happened. Thanks to Grey's Anatomy's season 2 finale. I've just recently started watching this show and I started from the beginning. Well season 2 finale literally did something to the inside of me. I may need McDreamy to operate soon... seriously.

Although for most people Patrick Dempsey is the heart throb that you dream of and wish you could be with. Strangely enough, that is not the case for me. If I could have anyone on the show... I think I would without a doubt pick Justin Chambers who plays Alex Karev. He is pretty much the jerk of the show who everyone hates. I'm not sure what this says about my character. I'm kind of worried about it. He's pretty much the guy that you KNOW would hurt you...because he pretty much tells you he would. I think I could seriously have a brain problem.

Anyway, moving on... My birthday is Thursday and I'm super excited about it. I don't have big plans...except work. Wow...how exciting! Also, i'm close to making a decision about college. When the final things are put together I will be sure to let all of you know.. but I DEFINITELY know what I want... it's just a matter of things working out. BUT i'm trusting if it's what God wants...then it will work :)

Well, it's after 2 am and i'm going to watch ONE more episode of grey's (i'm pathetic.. i know) and then get some sleep! goodnight! love to you all!