alphabetical venting.

I would like to say that today consisted of about 15 million things it shouldn't have. I just want to list a few points for all of those people out there who lack common sense. To be honest, i cannot imagine how you've survived this long.

a) if your skirt has a slit in it up to your waist...don't pull it apart and get surprised when your butt hangs out. then don't be surprised when i get a face like i'm going to toss my din din. i'm sorry, but i can't imagine what provokes a person to do something that insane in the mcdonalds parking lot.

b) if you are a guy...do not think that by yelling out of your rusty/raggedy truck window "hey baby....@#$(@*#$(* (insert inappropriate words)" like some grungy redneck that you're going to get a reaction. do you expect me to get out of my car at the stoplight and hop in your manure covered ride? come on....what are these county schools teaching you fools?

c) don't flip your nappy hair at me and make a smart alec comment and get that "OMG" face like you don't understand why i don't want to go "chill" with you. your cold heart is just a little TOO chilly for this girl...

d) if you are going to hammer....hammer at a steady, unwavering beat... do not do two taps that could not flatten a marshmallow and then start banging the nail like you are angry at it for not going in and start beating the blessed thing until it feels like my home is in an earthquake. it's not the nail's fault, sir.

e) if you are 40...then you are not 16. i'm sorry to blow that crap wide open.

f) why, yes! i do want to listen to ALL of your problems and not talk about anything i'm going through!! how did you know?

g) no one cares how obsessed you are with justin bieber...seriously, no one.

h) when you roll your eyes in public...people do see you.

i) i do not give a flying fart about your cafe, your farm, your mafia or your HUGZ, BEARS or HEARTS on facebook. do not send them to me; i do not want them.

j) at 17 you do not know everything (nor do you at 18...or 21..etc) don't overpower older, wiser people who actually have something to say that is worthy of hearing.

k) if i buy something....at least buy it in a different color. i do not want to be barbie's best friend Kim or whatever her name was... i don't want to be matchy-matchy. it's not cute.

l) being white and acting gangster isn't cool. it's just ridiculous. you grew up in a $200,000 house. don't tell me how hood you are, because the only hood you've seen is the one on the Ralph Lauren jacket you're wearing.

m) i have survived without an iphone...so yes, yes it's possible.

n) if you vote for a president..and don't like his decisions, that's pretty much your fault.

o) making a scene doesn't make you cool...it makes you 5.

p) they do make shirts that cover your future child's source for food... they make them, i promise.

q) I don't care what you're a fan of. I am so sick of 1,000,000 things that say ________ became a fan of i LoVe YoU* U mAkE mE sMiLe* ....you are ruining facebook for all of us.

r) I don't need to see 15 pictures of you from 15 different angles with your head sideways and your peace sign.

s) the word legit is not a word, it's an abbreviation.....it stands for legitimate! please use it in the correct context.

t) if your status says "hit me up" then expect me to smack you in the head, not call you.

u) if you run your inside jokes into the ground around people that weren't there to experience them...we're not going to laugh.

v) when you're going through a hard time and you use "fml" you just cursed your own life...don't be surprise if more crap comes your way.

w) SERIOUSLY, I do not want to waste my life quoting youtube videos with you.

x) congratulations, you got wasted this weekend and put your pictures on facebook. it must be good to be you.

y) if you facebook chat me...i'm not going to carry the conversation. if i wanted to do that, i would've chatted you first.

z) saying you're married to someone of the same sex on facebook is the reason why facebook started out for college people only. if you want us to assume your homosexual, then alright.


no offense intended. okay, that was a lie...maybe a little. i just wanted to vent. if you're offended, i'm sorry, i still love you.