Well, to start off I woke up to realize someone had hacked my e-mail and sent out a strange e-mail to my address book. GREAT. Whatever, I'm just not even going to worry about that.
I also woke up (before the e-mail incident) with several things happening and with tons of thoughts running through my head. These last few days it seems I have been attacked in WEIRD ways. It's kind of things that NEVER happen to me. I haven't understood anything at all. Then I started to think about the root of all evil. The Bible says "The love of money is the root of all evil" (1 Timothy 6:10). Obviously, if the Bible says it then it's true. I couldn't help but ask God though "How is it not jealousy and envy?" Isn't that why people love money? Because they are jealousy and envious of things that other people have. Doesn't almost EVERY sin come out of a place of jealousy? Then I saw this verse "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." (James 3:16) I think I believe that more today than ever before. I think we're so consumed by not having what we want, sometimes we can do things we never even thought. I'm guilty of it myself. We catch ourselves on the "big" sins (murder, adultery, etc.) and say "oh gosh, i'd NEVER do that." But wouldn't we? Wouldn't we cross some pretty big lines to get what we don't have that we SO desperately want? I don't know if all of us would go that far... but some of us go to the lengths of other things. It might be hurting our best friend, rebelling against our parents, stealing, cheating...and plenty more. Didn't the first sins come from jealousy and wanting what we couldn't have? Eve was JEALOUS of God. She wanted to be more like him...so she listened to the serpent. Cain wanted the approval that God gave to Abel. He killed his own brother out of jealousy. Where you have envy and selfish ambition you will find EVERY evil practice. So, how do we move out of this? How do we STOP? How do we refrain from taking it out on people who might have something we want. Can we make ourselves stop wanting it?
I know this, we make our choices. We make our beds, so now we have to lie in them. Some things we don't get a choice about, I know. We can't change our families, our financial situations, or many of our circumstances, but we can change our desire. It's not easy, so don't think I'm saying that it is. Really, take a good look at your desires (the ones that make you SUPER jealous of others...) Why is that happening? Have you done something to make that occur? Is it something you can't change? If it's something you can't change...then realize this: God gave you what he knew you could handle. TRUST him, seek him, love him and he'll make a way. He'll show you how to be content in ALL circumstances. If it's something you've done....deal with it. Get rid of the problem, get rid of the guilt and choose to move forward. You will do none of us any good by living in the slime of guilt.
Also, I think this: Think of the people you've envied, think of the people involved in those situations and take a look at your actions. Have you hurt them? Have your envious words hurt them? Most times you have and maybe without realizing it.
Fighting, quarreling, making snarky comments...it won't get you what you want. Contrary to the lie that the Enemy says it won't get it for you. He tells you "If you want something...take it! They don't deserve it any more than you do! Go get it!" It sounds like pretty much every "inspirational" movie in America. I'm not saying you can't go after things you want....YES, you can. But if it's in the hands of someone else, it's not your RIGHT to touch it. Grabbing it or reaching for it...won't get it for you! You have not, because you do not ask God! He is the one who GIVES ALL. When you do ask, it's with wrong motives (not for his Glory, but for YOURS!). I'm guilty. Throw up the black stone, Judge 'cause I am guilty as charged. I'm telling you to take a look at all the things you think you REALLY want. What makes you want them? How have you tried to get them? Why don't you think you have them? Stop comparing yourselves to your friends, your family, the girl in your dorm or the man next door. Take a step back and ask yourself about what YOU really desire and what YOUR motives have been. Bring THOSE things to the Lord and ask him to help you lay them down. Ask him to place his desires FOR YOU inside of you. Ask him to create pure motives in you. Ask him to make you content with what you have and happy for those who have more or something you'd like. Ask him to change you and your circumstances from the INSIDE OUT. Let him change your heart, your desires, motives, thoughts and plans and then he will begin to change your circumstances and give you HIS ways.
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