Decisions have been made.

Good evening,

I guess I should say morning since it's now after midnight. It's been a while since I've given a life update. A lot has been going on and I've barely had sleep in two days. I finally got in a three hour nap today which helped tremendously. I am planning to go back to bed after I write this and try to get up early tomorrow. (Try being the key word to that sentence)

Decisions have been made. As all of you know, I've been in the process of trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. Everything is not OFFICIALLY worked out, but I made some huge steps today and I feel good about them. I was a little worried, but God sent confirmation IMMEDIATELY after, showing me that I was moving in the right direction. I can't express how grateful I am for that. I've been asking him so much lately to show me that he's working in this. Thank you God for showing up today.

So, the question on the tip of everyone's tongue...."What are you going to do!?" I know, I've been leaving everyone in the dark for weeks (months, actually), but finally I think I'll be able to lay some plans out there for you.

I dropped my classes at DCCC. That was difficult, but so right. I knew when I registered I was completely in the wrong and not listening to the voice of God. It was hard to let go of that security blanket, but God got me through somehow. Now, the plan is this....(drum roll please)............. I'm looking into writing. This shouldn't come as much of a shock to anyone that knows me, but nevertheless it's not something I normally discuss with people. I'm going to be embarking toward an apprentice certificate from the Christian Writer's Guild. I will also try to get in some college credit from Taylor University in the process of all of that. I want to write novels. It's a dream that's been buried in me for a really long time, but it took me a really long time to let God take hold of it and show me what to do. It's a long story. If you want to know more about it, call me and we'll get some coffee and talk about it.

As for my other dreams. Well, of course I still want to travel and do ministry/missions of some kind. The right opportunity hasn't seemed to come along yet. I have a few things in the back of my mind, but no plans have panned out just yet. I'm not giving up on it though, I know God is going to direct me with it! I'm excited about that!

I can't tell you what a relief it is to have some plans established. It's August 2nd and most people would consider it the last minute (and I am without a doubt one of those people), but it's right on time. God isn't done yet either, I know he's got a lot more lined up for this year and that's why I'm not going to physically tied down to school right now. I still have some of my own plans, but I know that he will change them and tweak them as he sees fit and I am MORE than okay with that.

Honestly, his dreams and plans are so much better than mine. When I started out figuring out what I was going to do after High School, I had a completely different plan in a totally opposite direction. It sounded a little less crazy and risky....actually, it sounded totally safe and secure. There's something life changing and exciting about stepping out on the edge though and letting God just take you wherever he has planned. His plans look COMPLETELY different than mine, but they are SO much better!

I have some more things to get in order tomorrow. One of those being changing my oil. I am 3,000 miles over (oops!). I also have to cancel my gym membership because it's costing $30 and I don't use it anymore! (I am not proud of that.) Just know that things are happening and God is moving in awesome ways! I am relieved, excited and ready to start this journey! Thanks for all of your prayers and support these past few months!

Love,

Ashlin

Resurrection in May (Booksneeze Review)

RESURRECTION IN MAY | by: Lisa Samson

Resurrection in May is a story of a girl named May Seymour. After May graduates from college, she sets out on a journey that includes, loss, new friends, old friends and a search for spiritual answers. In the midst of this, she ends up on the farm of an old man named Claudius who plays a crucial part in the healing that must take place in her life. Through this journey, May encounters more than most people could imagine, but this journey transforms her life beyond what she could've ever expected.

When thinking about my feelings toward this book, there are several emotions that begin to well up inside of me. First, I would have to say that this book brought forth a lot of depression and I never necessarily got much redemptive joy from it. From the title we can gather that this is supposed to be a story of resurrection, but I never felt like things really came back to life FULLY. I can't honestly say that this was a story that inspired or built my faith. In some ways it sent me into a quiet sadness filled with anything but joy. While the story had heart warming characters full of love and charm, they could not compensate for the utter sense of loss that overpowers you while you are reading and even when you finish. On a positive note, the writer's details and descriptions are exceptional and as far as her style of writing, I liked it very much. Sadly, this is probably not a book I would recommend to anyone. I like to finish a book with some sense of hope and joy, something that makes me look forward to life and this book did not give me that at all.

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I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

"stuck outside the walls of eden...standin' on our tiptoes just to catch a glimpse..."

It's about midnight and I'm here in my living room thinking...... There are pretty much 80 million thoughts running through my head and I am left with one word about this season in my life:

redemption

One of the definitions for redemption is this: to obtain the release or restoration of. I think that it's safe to say that's what has been happening recently.

A few months ago, the Lord began to ask me. "If you could change one thing...go back and do one thing differently, what would it be?" WHAT A QUESTION. It was almost scary to give an answer because what if it really happened? Could I really be happy with the ONE thing I chose out of the millions of mistakes I've seemed to make? I thought long and hard and finally had one. I gave it to him. He shook his head. "Nope....because if that wouldn't have happened then (insert important event in my life) wouldn't have happened." I sighed, okay well I'll try again. The process continued with what seemed like hundreds of things that he constantly said "well, that caused (insert important event) to happen." Eventually, I kind of gave up. It seemed that everything had a purpose.....what a concept!

Anyway, I kind of forgot about it and continued on with my life. Although I didn't continue answering the Lord with my mouth it seemed that my heart took over and started spouting off answers for me. Finally, one stuck and precious Jesus nodded his head. He wasn't going to let me go back and change it, but he was going to redeem it. Would you like to know the surprising part about it? It wasn't a mistake I had made or a choice gone wrong, it was more of something that had happened without my knowing, something the enemy had crept in and taken from me. He was going to redeem it. It wouldn't be the EXACT same situation, people, places or anything that went along with it. He decided to do it somewhere completely unexpected.

I guess the reason why I am writing this is because I feel something in my Spirit beginning to shift. The power of his redemption is flowing into the dry and cracked places of my heart that I haven't even known existed. I also know he's doing it in other areas too, in areas that I desperately need it.

What i've learned from all of this is: My mistakes, bad choices, poor judgments and all of the above aren't really the things I wish I could go back and change. The LORD somehow in his amazing power worked those together for my good. What I'd really like to see come to pass is the ground the enemy has taken to be reclaimed and redeemed for the purposes God gave it to me were. What the enemy thought he'd won, what he thought he'd stolen is being given back stronger, healthier and worth much more than when they were stolen.

I am grateful and humbled. Reminded of a story close to my heart. A few months ago I baby sat the three most precious children. The littlest of the three (who is just more precious than words could say) has a bad heart. His heart is literally failing within him and sometime within the next week they are going to take him into what is going to be an insanely risky surgery. My heart is breaking for this sweet boy and what he is enduring. This heart failure is not a result of his sin, bad choices or mistakes. This sweet little six year old has not even begun to make the mistakes most of us have. Through a heart wrenching story (that I won't tell over blog for lack of emotional strength and space), his heart is trying to be taken by the enemy. I am not God, I don't know what the outcome of this surgery is going to be, but I know this...his heart will not be stolen. This sweet baby's heart will be redeemed, one way or another whether here or with the Heavenly Father. My point in sharing this is to say this...the things that most need to be redeemed are not necessarily the crappy mistakes you think you've made. It's the fallen state of this world (which yes, was caused by sin), but we need a redeemer. The rocks cry out and the Earth groans along with my heart to see creation restored and redeemed back to the way God made it. The enemy thought that he won when he deceived Eve. He didn't see the cross coming. Just as he thinks he's won over all the things he's stolen from each of us, he doesn't see the redemption coming for us! I long to see myself reconciled back to the Father's heart...the way it should've been all along. I long to see a perfectly beating heart inside of this beautiful child.

I am thankful that I have seen a small glimpse of this glorious hope that is before us. That there is coming a day when all will be put in it's rightful place. I am thankful that right now, God is giving me just little bits and pieces of this hope in my own life. He is good.

Birthdays and Days full of Bliss.

First of all, today is my wonderful Sister's birthday! Happy Birthday Jordan, you are so precious to me! I love you dearly. Jordan and I are pretty much best friends and constantly sit at each other's side. I'd be pretty crazy without her.

Also, I figured I'd pop in here just to give a few updates and to post another picture or two from Lauren & Luke's engagement session.

Updates: Life is good. Life is a little crazy. Okay, try A LOT of crazy, but I'm trying to endure and pray through it. I don't understand at ALL what God is doing or what he is trying to speak to me, but I'm excited and trying to live & love every second of it. He's bringing a lot of change and bringing me into a new season, thankfully. New seasons are good (I pray for them frequently), yet when they come I am often found sitting in a corner rocking back and forth scared out of my wits at what they bring. As much as I need change, it scaresthe daylights out of me.

God's teaching me a lot about how my ways are just so different than his. If I get an idea, he gets almost an opposite one (of course, his is like 80 million times better). If I put together a plan, he pulls me in the complete opposite direction. It's frustrating, but it's fun and I love him for it. :)

That's my spill for right now, I don't want to give away many details just because not everything is worked out perfectly just yet! Anyway, here are some more pics! Hope you all enjoy!

Lauren & Luke

Aren't they too cute?

Photographs & Memories

I know the story of Lauren & Luke pretty well. Considering I was there from the start, it is a story that is close to my heart. I remember the days when I would tease Lauren and accuse her of liking Luke. She would deny it (of course), but nevertheless, I always knew there was something there. After a few years of friendship and a few little obstacles along the way, the two of them finally saw what I'd been seeing for a while, that they have an undeniable chemistry. Once they started dating, it wasn't hard for anyone to see that they were perfect together. What a joy it has been to see to halves coming together to complete one another just the way God intended when he first made Adam and Eve.

Lauren, who is my cousin, has also been one of my best friends since we were kids. We have laughed, cried, fought, built forts, raced for turtles, had a million sleepovers and talked until the wee hours of the morning. My heart is so happy that she has finally found the man she will spend the rest of her life with. Luke couldn't be more precious. I have no doubt that no one will ever be able to love her as much as he does. It's constantly all over his face just how much he adores her. There are constantly those little moments where he just glances her way and you see some supernatural love come over his face. I've also never seen Lauren look at anyone the way she looks at Luke. They have no doubt brought the best out of each other.

On Wednesday, I had the pleasure of taking Lauren and Luke's engagement pictures. It was so much fun and we got some great shots! I think the greatest part about it was that they are so easy to photograph. Their love for each other shows up in the funniest ways and you can't help but feel that mushy gushy feeling when you're around them. In the process of editing their pictures, I even found myself practically weeping. Partly, because she is my cousin and best friend and to think that she is getting married is mind blowing, but also because they are so precious and are a beautiful example of what true love looks like.

I will give you a little sneak preview of their engagement pictures! I am absolutely so excited for them! I won't show you too much though because the soon to be married couple haven't even seen them all yet. :)

Are they not precious? There are ones that are even more precious and hilarious than these! At some point, you will get to see more! For now, enjoy! I hope you're all well :)

“I hoped that the trip would be the best of all journeys: a journey into ourselves” -Shirley Maclaine

I can't believe the trip is over. I realize that it was only two days, but it felt like a lifetime of excitement. There was so much that happened that I am not even sure i've processed yet. As for the things I have processed, here they go.

The trip started off well, until we reached a town that smelled like sewer and Jordan and I switched positions. I became the driver and she became the passenger. As we headed into the mountains, I don't think anything could've contained our excitement. When we reached the ridiculous (or some other word that you probably would gasp at) town of Cosby we found that we had somewhat lost our way. Well, when all else fails, go straight. Well, unfortunately any other way would've been better, but whatever. We ended up driving up a random mountain for at least 30 minutes (which ended up being an hour trip all together) and came to the top (where there was no civilization) to see RANDOM construction workers chilling on the mountain. This precious old man knew I was lost, so he proceeded to ask where we were headed and inform us that the road we were on turned into a dead end/dirt road. YAY. He then had me turn around on the mountain. It was narrow, it was rocky, there were no guard rails and if you were to accidentally hit the wrong pedal, you would be flung off into the abyss.

Finally, after deep breaths and barely tapping the gas, I got turned around and started down the winding mountain. Needless to say, I almost had a panic attack, but thank God we made it. We then went toward Gatlinburg, only to realize that we didn't REALLY know where we were going because thanks to Google Maps they left off over HALF of the directions. We decided to call the place we'd reserved and the conversation went a little something like this:

Jordan: "Yes, we're looking for you and we're out near Jellystone park."

Lady: "OH HONEY....YOU'RE WAYYYYY OUT OF THE WAY!"

Jordan (looking distraught explains to the lady how we got where we were.)

Lady: "Oh, you're rite! you're rite! Just keep on a comin and turn at stop light 3!"

After realizing we weren't completely off, we continued on our trip. As we passed drove over the Pigeon Forge line we both looked to our left to see Riveredge Park (our place to stay) flying by on our right. We proceeded to turn around and then around again before we figured out how to get into the place. When we finally did get in, the lady laughed "SO YOU GOT HERE?!" She sent us to our cabin and we threw all of our stuff inside. It was perfect in every sense of the word. Bare (only one room with beds, a fridge and a microwave) Secluded, but near people, safe, but adventurous; it was everything we'd hoped for.

That night was spent in time with the Lord. I'm not going to lie it was the hardest night for me. I began to get super frustrated because I didn't feel like I was getting much of anything. I would get a random line here or there or a verse. I knew they were things from the Lord, but they didn't seem really significant. It was frustrating.

The next day, Jordan and I decided to go on a hike to Laurel Falls. Let me just say that I wasn't exactly pumped about it when the lady at the help center informed us there had been recent bear spottings and fatalities. I pretty much freaked. Wild animals that can tear my face off do not excite me. Despite her startling news, we started on our hike and it was absolutely beautiful. I was still nervous though and began to pray and ask the Lord for protection and that I wouldn't see a bear. To my dismay, he gave me an impression that I wasn't going to get that prayer answered, but that I would be okay. Needless to say, I freaked out.

Anyway, when Jordan and I reached the top it was absolutely beautiful the falls were breathtaking and it was worth the sweat and fear it took to get there. We sat by the falls for quite some time and took it all in. That's when the Lord really began to speak to me...and to my surprise and delight, he tied in the few things he'd given me the night before. Apparently, they had been more significant than I'd thought. The falls were absolutely my favorite part of our trip.

On our hike back down a rather ridiculously enthusiastic lady decided to inform us there was a bear 3/10 of a mile back down the mountain. Oh joy. "He's soooo cute!" she added skipping up to the falls. I wanted to pop her in the mouth. It was a bear for Pete's sake! Of course, I freaked out, but Jordan reminded me that we had to get back down at some point. I walked slowly and cautiously wondering when we would stumble upon Yogi and meet our doom. Well, it wasn't hard to find him because there were about 25 hikers lined across the narrow path of the hike taking pictures and oohing and ahhing. I snapped my pics and decided to get away from a CNN headline waiting to happen. Before I could go, I heard the most ridiculous comments. "He looks like a puppy!!!!!" to which I thought, No..no maam, he doesn't he's a bear. You know what? He could eat you, shoot, he probably would eat you. Better yet, he's a cub so his mother will eat you. Followed by, "Do you think he'll fall?" Hmm, well should we stick around to find out? I couldn't believe how ridiculous people were over a LIVE and DANGEROUS animal. Nevertheless, it was a neat experience to see him in his natural habitat. I loved it, but I would've loved it more for both he and I if people just snapped a few pics and walked away quietly to leave him be. They were disturbing nature and it was somewhat heartbreaking. The revelation that came from that was even greater than I'd expected. After the hike, we spent that night having quiet time as well, this time it was a little easier and Jordan and I got to talk about some cool revelations that we both got.

The next morning, the morning to leave we stopped for breakfast on our way through Cherokee and back to home. We ate at this Log Cabin Pancake place. Unfortunately, we almost experienced death by freezer burned waffles and purple chocolate milk. It was probably the most repulsive experience of my life, but we had a good laugh. We drove through Cherokee and then on to Asheville where we met up with the lovely Jada Parker and had a two hour long dinner with her. It was good to see a friendly face and eat fantastic burritos!

Like I said, I still haven't processed everything. God revealed a lot on this trip about myself, my future, my dreams and the things that he has for me. I'm excited, a little nervous and all together rested and relaxed. It was a needed trip at the perfect time. I think there's definitely a time for all of us to do this, just to get away. Let go of the distractions, noises, technology, worries and just focus in on what the Lord is trying to say and do in our lives. I'm thankful that he gave us a wonderful opportunity, full of laughs, funny people and exciting revelations.

“Adventure must start with running away from home” --William Bolitho

I don't know if you remember, but in my "adventure seeking" post I said: These next few weeks are going to be about adventure for me. I don't know how or what, but I'm going to do SOMETHING adventurous. Dont' worry, I'll post when that happens. :)

Talk about a post of prophecy or perhaps i'm just getting around to fulfilling a desire. Regardless of why, the time has finally come! Tomorrow, Jordan and I are waking up early and embarking on an adventure. We're taking a 5 hour trip up into the mountains and staying in a little camping cabin. We're "roughing it" or at least in our opinions. We are getting away from all the comforts of home. No big ole comfy beds, tvs, computers, radios, ipods or anything. Two girls, two bibles, two journals, some spiritual books and two hearts ready to seek what God has next for our lives. Needless to say we're overly excited and eagerly awaiting the morning to come. We're expecting big things, needed things...we're also excited about relaxing for the first time in a while.

SO, adventure, here we come! We're going to also be doing maybe some hiking and sight seeing. We plan to go look at some waterfalls and stuff too! It's going to be BEAUTIFUL! I cannot wait! I will post stories, revelations and pictures when I return on Wednesday! Love you all!

“We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lost sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way.”