love!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I have fallen in love with fall
Hey friends! I am writing this as I wait for a phone call that will confirm plans for tomorrow and Tuesday. I have been so busy these past couple of days, after this phone call I will no doubt fall into bed and sleep as long as possible. Today, on my drive home from church..the colorful leaves started falling from the tree and the crisp air was streaming through my car and I thought to myself.. "FALL IS HERE!" and I just sat basking in the wonderfulness that is fall. I absolutely love it, because as you all know it is such a sign of change...and that is EXACTLY what is happening in my life right now. I wish I had the time to explain everything, but there are just not enough words and not enough time. God is moving in such amazing ways and I am just truly LOVING it. Although it is not how I had planned, his plans truly are better than mine and I am trusting that! These next few days are going to be SWAMPED. So keep me in your prayers!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wake Me Up When September Ends
To start off...the season premiere of BONES is tonight. I'm overly excited about this! I just got into BONES a few months ago. On a family trip to the beach, Jordan and I grew bored one afternoon so we made a wal-mart trip...randomly bought the first season of BONES and my obsession began then. I watched one every night (sometimes two or three) for the remainder of the trip and continued watching them when I got home and purchased the second and third seasons. Then I searched until I found all the episodes of season 4 online and watched them. So pretty much...I'm super excited about tonight.
So a lot has happened in the past few weeks that I guess i've failed to update about. I took a beach trip with the youth leadership and that was an interesting experience for me. The trip tested me in a lot of ways and despite the fact that I think I may have failed a few of those tests...some of them I passed and they will not have to be taken again--at least for now. I found myself learning a lot about silence and only speaking what the LORD says. It's my nature to mouth off and say whatever I want or whatever I'm thinking...but the LORD silenced me on that trip and would only let me say the things that he wanted. It was a humbling experience. I realized that about 85% of everything I say is random and only 15% is what really needs to be heard.
As for everything else... my sleep has not been doing well, once again. I hate when I get in these modes. I'm just going to have to pray my way out of it. It seems to be the only remedy to my insomnia.
I've been living in the past a lot lately. There's something about this season and even this particular month of the year that always makes me back track and go into a season of rememberance. September has always been a crucial month in my life..seems that some of the most significant days in my life took place in September. While I am not one to wish my life away--when September rolls around i'm always ready for it to end due to fear that something else crazy will occur. For once i'd like September to represent something GOOD in my life. September this year has been relatively quiet, but it's not over yet. Maybe that's why i've been sleeping so much lately...In the words of Green Day. "Wake Me Up when September Ends."
So a lot has happened in the past few weeks that I guess i've failed to update about. I took a beach trip with the youth leadership and that was an interesting experience for me. The trip tested me in a lot of ways and despite the fact that I think I may have failed a few of those tests...some of them I passed and they will not have to be taken again--at least for now. I found myself learning a lot about silence and only speaking what the LORD says. It's my nature to mouth off and say whatever I want or whatever I'm thinking...but the LORD silenced me on that trip and would only let me say the things that he wanted. It was a humbling experience. I realized that about 85% of everything I say is random and only 15% is what really needs to be heard.
As for everything else... my sleep has not been doing well, once again. I hate when I get in these modes. I'm just going to have to pray my way out of it. It seems to be the only remedy to my insomnia.
I've been living in the past a lot lately. There's something about this season and even this particular month of the year that always makes me back track and go into a season of rememberance. September has always been a crucial month in my life..seems that some of the most significant days in my life took place in September. While I am not one to wish my life away--when September rolls around i'm always ready for it to end due to fear that something else crazy will occur. For once i'd like September to represent something GOOD in my life. September this year has been relatively quiet, but it's not over yet. Maybe that's why i've been sleeping so much lately...In the words of Green Day. "Wake Me Up when September Ends."
Monday, September 7, 2009
just a little update
So i'll just do a really small update as of right now...
I just got home from the beach and i'm so exhausted. It was a good trip though and God taught me more than I imagined. The truth is, i'm downloading it all NOW...hours later. I couldn't see when I was in the midst of everything what exactly he was doing, but now it is all starting to make sense. I don't really know how to explain what is going through my mind right now, but Colbie Caillat understands..as always. A lot of really heart changing things happened to me the past couple of days and I wasn't as ready for them as I thought. They're good though and I will update you more as the week goes on.
But until then.. I have to sleep! Not only did I just get home from the beach..when I did I went straight to the Tent Revival tonight. Needless to say, the computer screen is starting to blur.
love,
ashlin
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Doggy Dooms Day
So, I finished my first project for this year just a few minutes ago. I must say, i'm quite proud of how well I think I did. I mean, granted my mother is my teacher and she's probably NOT going to fail me...but as I read my own paper I was surprised how much I sounded like I knew exactly what I was talking about..almost as if I lived through it myself, except of course I didn't...My paper was pretty much about the history of the US economy and comparing Reagan to Obama.. Anyway, glad that ones over! Not excited to hear about the next one though.
My dog FINALLY got a haircut. It was quite an effort, but it happened. When I got home from the youth girl's breakfast yesterday morning.. I proceeded to check and make sure my dad had taken the dog for her appt. I go into the den and sure enough--he's sitting in his chair with his "i just woke up" hair do and his eyes partially closed. The dog of course, is at my feet barking and staring up at me (at least I think she was, I couldn't see her eyes through all of the hair!!!) I sighed and asked him what time she was supposed to be there. "Between 8 and 9" was his response. I looked at the clock, yep...it was 9:00. I shook my head, put the leash on her and informed my poor dad that I would take her.
Now, normally...my dog is jumping over the top of me as I try to steer the car. Jumping up on the window, barking at every person in every car, and falling out of the leather seats into the floor board and getting upset and jumping back up. She didn't do that this time. She came right over next to me, laid down in the seat beside me...and let me pet her the entire way there. It was so refreshing to actually be able to DRIVE the car while she was in there. This trip was looking hopeful!!
We get to the groomers and she jumps down into the floorboard, under the steering wheel and I unlock the doors and attempt to get out of the car. FAIL. The drivers side door is STUCK and I mean...stuck! I sat there for a good 5 minutes trying to open it, I didn't. SO I climbed over, got in the passengers seat and got out, ran to the other side and attempted to open the driver's side door from the outside. Still stuck. So I get BACK in on the passengers side and attempt to pull the dog over toward me. This didn't work well. Now not only was the driver's door stuck, the dog was stuck. She was stuck under the steering wheel and couldn't get to the passenger's side floorboard due to the gear shifter and couldn't get in the driver's seat to cross over, due to the fact she kept hitting her head on the steering wheel and I was fearing she would probably pass out if she continued to try. At this point, I'm laughing..because I am the ONLY person in the parking lot and I know the women inside are watching me, because the entire front of the building is glass. It hits me then to push the driver's seat as far back as possible and maybe she could get up without hitting her head. Well, I did..and she got up there, but not without knocking herself in the head one good time. She then jumped down into the floorboard on the passenger's side, but is apparently either too old to jump down onto the concrete, or just too afraid. So I had to pick her up and put her on the ground...but not without losing the leash from around her neck. Luckily, I got it back on her before she escaped. I then shut the passenger's side door and go inside the groomer's office.
Now, this is where it gets weird. I walk in and the entire staff of...3 ladies look at each other in complete surprise. Almost as if they didn't know I was coming. I'm left standing there, leash in one hand, the other on my hip and staring at them in complete confusion. We all stood there, wordlessly staring at one another for a good 3 and a half minutes before one woman nonchalantly said, "Can I help you?" I held up the leash as if to say, "My dog?" while, really I wanted to say, "Yes, I'll take a table for three!" and confuse her just as much as she was confusing me. After having to state the dog's name numerous times, they finally took her from me, but not before she wet the floor---TWICE. Then the woman who picked her up almost lost a finger, but at that point.. I couldn't really blame the dog..these people were being a little ridiculous. Now let me remind you, while all this is happening..we're all just standing, in complete silence. The woman standing at the computer then informs me that the dog needs a shot and I respond with "okay, whatever she needs." Then the woman holding my dog as if she is a grocery bag hoisted on her hip asks ME what time I WANT to come get her. I wanted to say, "I'll take her NOW and go find someone who understands how to do all of this." But I just looked at her, dumbfounded and opened my mouth to say, "What time will you be done?" When she interrupted me and blurted out 4:30. I shook my head and know I must have been giving her a "look", but I didn't care.. I just walked out as they all yelled "BYE" in a friendly manner behind me, as if we had all just had the most enjoyable experience of our lives.
Getting out to the car, I reach to open the door and apparently was pulling it with force, because I was catipulted 12 inches backwards. REJECTED. I had forgotten the door was stuck. So, I walked over the passengers seat, climbed over, stomped on the gas and got out of that place.
Just so you know, my dog DID survive. And that was NOT my car..it was my parent's. My car's doors work properly...do not ask me why theirs do not.
Lessons Learned When Taking the Dog to the Groomers:
1) Just because your dog is remaining calm on the way there, does not mean she will stay that way when you arrive.
2) Don't assume just because you made an APPOINTMENT, that the groomer will expect you to arrive there.
3) You can choose ANY time to pick up the dog..because apparently, it doesn't matter what time they finish.
4) Take your own car when driving to the groomers.
5) Know that your poor dad DOESN'T understand the concept of "appointment."
6) It doesn't matter if you let your dog pee outside before you take her, because she will still go when you take her inside.
7) Carry a big sign that says "My dog's name is ____________ (insert proper name here)" when you go, or they will not know what to do.
8) Just because you're at the groomers, with a leash in hand and an exceptionally furry dog at your feet...don't assume they will know why you're there.
9) When 3 employees are working: One will attempt to get the dog (and almost lose limbs). One will stand over the computer, with her eyebrows furrowed, confused at why it says your dog should get shot. The last, will stand with her nail file just staring at the other two wondering why the other two actually bothered to move.
Love,
Ashlin
My dog FINALLY got a haircut. It was quite an effort, but it happened. When I got home from the youth girl's breakfast yesterday morning.. I proceeded to check and make sure my dad had taken the dog for her appt. I go into the den and sure enough--he's sitting in his chair with his "i just woke up" hair do and his eyes partially closed. The dog of course, is at my feet barking and staring up at me (at least I think she was, I couldn't see her eyes through all of the hair!!!) I sighed and asked him what time she was supposed to be there. "Between 8 and 9" was his response. I looked at the clock, yep...it was 9:00. I shook my head, put the leash on her and informed my poor dad that I would take her.
Now, normally...my dog is jumping over the top of me as I try to steer the car. Jumping up on the window, barking at every person in every car, and falling out of the leather seats into the floor board and getting upset and jumping back up. She didn't do that this time. She came right over next to me, laid down in the seat beside me...and let me pet her the entire way there. It was so refreshing to actually be able to DRIVE the car while she was in there. This trip was looking hopeful!!
We get to the groomers and she jumps down into the floorboard, under the steering wheel and I unlock the doors and attempt to get out of the car. FAIL. The drivers side door is STUCK and I mean...stuck! I sat there for a good 5 minutes trying to open it, I didn't. SO I climbed over, got in the passengers seat and got out, ran to the other side and attempted to open the driver's side door from the outside. Still stuck. So I get BACK in on the passengers side and attempt to pull the dog over toward me. This didn't work well. Now not only was the driver's door stuck, the dog was stuck. She was stuck under the steering wheel and couldn't get to the passenger's side floorboard due to the gear shifter and couldn't get in the driver's seat to cross over, due to the fact she kept hitting her head on the steering wheel and I was fearing she would probably pass out if she continued to try. At this point, I'm laughing..because I am the ONLY person in the parking lot and I know the women inside are watching me, because the entire front of the building is glass. It hits me then to push the driver's seat as far back as possible and maybe she could get up without hitting her head. Well, I did..and she got up there, but not without knocking herself in the head one good time. She then jumped down into the floorboard on the passenger's side, but is apparently either too old to jump down onto the concrete, or just too afraid. So I had to pick her up and put her on the ground...but not without losing the leash from around her neck. Luckily, I got it back on her before she escaped. I then shut the passenger's side door and go inside the groomer's office.
Now, this is where it gets weird. I walk in and the entire staff of...3 ladies look at each other in complete surprise. Almost as if they didn't know I was coming. I'm left standing there, leash in one hand, the other on my hip and staring at them in complete confusion. We all stood there, wordlessly staring at one another for a good 3 and a half minutes before one woman nonchalantly said, "Can I help you?" I held up the leash as if to say, "My dog?" while, really I wanted to say, "Yes, I'll take a table for three!" and confuse her just as much as she was confusing me. After having to state the dog's name numerous times, they finally took her from me, but not before she wet the floor---TWICE. Then the woman who picked her up almost lost a finger, but at that point.. I couldn't really blame the dog..these people were being a little ridiculous. Now let me remind you, while all this is happening..we're all just standing, in complete silence. The woman standing at the computer then informs me that the dog needs a shot and I respond with "okay, whatever she needs." Then the woman holding my dog as if she is a grocery bag hoisted on her hip asks ME what time I WANT to come get her. I wanted to say, "I'll take her NOW and go find someone who understands how to do all of this." But I just looked at her, dumbfounded and opened my mouth to say, "What time will you be done?" When she interrupted me and blurted out 4:30. I shook my head and know I must have been giving her a "look", but I didn't care.. I just walked out as they all yelled "BYE" in a friendly manner behind me, as if we had all just had the most enjoyable experience of our lives.
Getting out to the car, I reach to open the door and apparently was pulling it with force, because I was catipulted 12 inches backwards. REJECTED. I had forgotten the door was stuck. So, I walked over the passengers seat, climbed over, stomped on the gas and got out of that place.
Just so you know, my dog DID survive. And that was NOT my car..it was my parent's. My car's doors work properly...do not ask me why theirs do not.
Lessons Learned When Taking the Dog to the Groomers:
1) Just because your dog is remaining calm on the way there, does not mean she will stay that way when you arrive.
2) Don't assume just because you made an APPOINTMENT, that the groomer will expect you to arrive there.
3) You can choose ANY time to pick up the dog..because apparently, it doesn't matter what time they finish.
4) Take your own car when driving to the groomers.
5) Know that your poor dad DOESN'T understand the concept of "appointment."
6) It doesn't matter if you let your dog pee outside before you take her, because she will still go when you take her inside.
7) Carry a big sign that says "My dog's name is ____________ (insert proper name here)" when you go, or they will not know what to do.
8) Just because you're at the groomers, with a leash in hand and an exceptionally furry dog at your feet...don't assume they will know why you're there.
9) When 3 employees are working: One will attempt to get the dog (and almost lose limbs). One will stand over the computer, with her eyebrows furrowed, confused at why it says your dog should get shot. The last, will stand with her nail file just staring at the other two wondering why the other two actually bothered to move.
Love,
Ashlin
Friday, August 28, 2009
Is something about to break?
So there's this Mat Kearney song that became pretty popular a few years ago, called "Nothing Left to Lose" and a few years ago, I remember my sister and I singing this song so many times at moments in our lives when we felt God was about to do something huge. We'd always sing:
"Something's in the air tonight
the sky's alive with a burning light
you can mark my words,
something's 'bout to break"
and it's almost as if you could have marked our words, because something always broke. Maybe it's a stretch to call it "prophetic" that it always rose up in our spirits at a certain time in our lives...but i'm willing to make the leap and say it was. What I find exceptionally dissapointing is that I haven't heard those lines uttered to my spirit in a long time and it's somewhat heart wrenching. Maybe it's just that God is speaking a different way now and he's trying to mix things up a little, I'm not really sure.
I know that things are changing dramatically in my life though. This is definitely what I'd call a "new season" and it's scary. Tonight a few of us gathered and "kidnapped" our friend Melissa who is leaving for Israel on Thursday. It hit me tonight how bittersweet the farewell is going to be. I am going to miss this woman of God terribly. She's always there to help me out and talk me down when I'm going a little crazy. Then again, an excitement is in me for her. To send someone you love out to do the things that you yourself hope to do one day is encouraging in an unexplainable way.
I remember being little and my dad coming in my room to wake me up for school and he would yell "wake up, teddy bears are going on a picnic!" and he would jerk all of the covers off of me. I used to get so angry when he would pull the covers off. I was cold, uncomfortable and forced to move. That's where I am today with God. He's pulled the security blankets off of me and I am left cold, uncomfortable and forced to move! I've been begging, praying, seeking and yelling for God to help me and give me the answers to these questions burning in my soul. He gives me the answers, but they're answers I was expecting and answers I didn't want to hear. They're the BEST answers, yes.... but uncomfortable and somewhat difficult and annoying. I guess what I'm trying to say is now God is moving me into a completely new season and rather than having the people who have been there with me through the transition of the other seasons in my life...they're out fulfilling God's plan for their lives. It's scary, I'm not going to lie. I'm trying to be ready though and I'm trying to believe that whether I hear the Mat Kearney lyrics in my head or not....that something is IN FACT about to break.
Love,
Ashlin :)
"Something's in the air tonight
the sky's alive with a burning light
you can mark my words,
something's 'bout to break"
and it's almost as if you could have marked our words, because something always broke. Maybe it's a stretch to call it "prophetic" that it always rose up in our spirits at a certain time in our lives...but i'm willing to make the leap and say it was. What I find exceptionally dissapointing is that I haven't heard those lines uttered to my spirit in a long time and it's somewhat heart wrenching. Maybe it's just that God is speaking a different way now and he's trying to mix things up a little, I'm not really sure.
I know that things are changing dramatically in my life though. This is definitely what I'd call a "new season" and it's scary. Tonight a few of us gathered and "kidnapped" our friend Melissa who is leaving for Israel on Thursday. It hit me tonight how bittersweet the farewell is going to be. I am going to miss this woman of God terribly. She's always there to help me out and talk me down when I'm going a little crazy. Then again, an excitement is in me for her. To send someone you love out to do the things that you yourself hope to do one day is encouraging in an unexplainable way.
I remember being little and my dad coming in my room to wake me up for school and he would yell "wake up, teddy bears are going on a picnic!" and he would jerk all of the covers off of me. I used to get so angry when he would pull the covers off. I was cold, uncomfortable and forced to move. That's where I am today with God. He's pulled the security blankets off of me and I am left cold, uncomfortable and forced to move! I've been begging, praying, seeking and yelling for God to help me and give me the answers to these questions burning in my soul. He gives me the answers, but they're answers I was expecting and answers I didn't want to hear. They're the BEST answers, yes.... but uncomfortable and somewhat difficult and annoying. I guess what I'm trying to say is now God is moving me into a completely new season and rather than having the people who have been there with me through the transition of the other seasons in my life...they're out fulfilling God's plan for their lives. It's scary, I'm not going to lie. I'm trying to be ready though and I'm trying to believe that whether I hear the Mat Kearney lyrics in my head or not....that something is IN FACT about to break.
Love,
Ashlin :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Beginning of the End
These past few days have been crazy. They've included a work day, a cook out with the Bhutanese from church, a solo trip to the mountains, sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, a lunch & car decorating day with Sarah for our last day of summer, and the girl's breakfast this morning. Today is the official start of my senior year. I actually found myself tearing up at the thought. I cannot believe how fast time has flown. People always told me, "those four years of high school will fly by!" I didn't believe them, but they were right.
Although things have been a little crazy, God has been so good! I wish I had the energy to update you on more, but like I said...things are busy. Today is the beginning of the end of a huge chapter in a person's life. It's one of the most exciting things ever, I can't believe I actually got here. Then again, it's sad. Growing up is a always a bittersweet thing. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this year, it's going be a good year and I'm going to embrace it. My motto for this year is "You only live once!" I'm going to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way and just have fun and enjoy this time in my life.
I'll update more when my schedule allows for it and I'm not so exhausted. Getting up so early the past week has started to get to me. Have a great day!
love, ashlin :)
Although things have been a little crazy, God has been so good! I wish I had the energy to update you on more, but like I said...things are busy. Today is the beginning of the end of a huge chapter in a person's life. It's one of the most exciting things ever, I can't believe I actually got here. Then again, it's sad. Growing up is a always a bittersweet thing. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this year, it's going be a good year and I'm going to embrace it. My motto for this year is "You only live once!" I'm going to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way and just have fun and enjoy this time in my life.
I'll update more when my schedule allows for it and I'm not so exhausted. Getting up so early the past week has started to get to me. Have a great day!
love, ashlin :)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Talk about BAD timing.
They say timing is everything. I personally think it's hilarious that i'm writing this at 4:34 am and I have to be up in about 4 and 1/2 hours to go to church, but nevertheless...i'd like to discuss BAD timing.
I think I can speak from experience when I say I know something about BAD timing. Just recently (like within the last 10 minutes) I have learned an entire new definition of the concept "bad timing." I've been praying through this INSANELY crazy situation in my life....and just seeking and FINALLY answers are coming and breakthrough is close and I receive a text message that is intended to complicate it ALL. And it has, for a moment, and I am wondering..WHY NOW? WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN? Why would God allow such a thing to happen just as I am on the edge of breakthrough? I wish I knew. Maybe to teach me something, maybe as a test.. I don't know and I won't pretend to understand his mysterious ways. I do know this though, that I cannot waiver on truth and what is right..regardless of any texts or anything else that happens. I know that I cannot let any feelings be swayed because of anything like that.. but I know this, what BAD TIMING to get such a text. It's one of the many things I love about a lot of the people in my life..they all have EXCEPTIONALLY BAD TIMING. I wish I could convey how true this is. It's almost as if some of them are PROGRAMMED to know when it would be MOST inconvenient to come to me..and they PURPOSEFULLY decide to execute their "plans" then. You have no idea how often this happens to me. It's almost humorous to me now. I guess I will have to address this situation when I awake in 4 and 1/2 hours and I will deal with it then. Until that time, I just wanted to vent for a moment.
God's timing is perfect. No doubt about that.
And he knows everything that will happen, before it happens......right?
Sooo...one must conclude he knew this would happen..
Meaning: He has some kind of plan.
I believe that. I have to believe that.
I think I can speak from experience when I say I know something about BAD timing. Just recently (like within the last 10 minutes) I have learned an entire new definition of the concept "bad timing." I've been praying through this INSANELY crazy situation in my life....and just seeking and FINALLY answers are coming and breakthrough is close and I receive a text message that is intended to complicate it ALL. And it has, for a moment, and I am wondering..WHY NOW? WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN? Why would God allow such a thing to happen just as I am on the edge of breakthrough? I wish I knew. Maybe to teach me something, maybe as a test.. I don't know and I won't pretend to understand his mysterious ways. I do know this though, that I cannot waiver on truth and what is right..regardless of any texts or anything else that happens. I know that I cannot let any feelings be swayed because of anything like that.. but I know this, what BAD TIMING to get such a text. It's one of the many things I love about a lot of the people in my life..they all have EXCEPTIONALLY BAD TIMING. I wish I could convey how true this is. It's almost as if some of them are PROGRAMMED to know when it would be MOST inconvenient to come to me..and they PURPOSEFULLY decide to execute their "plans" then. You have no idea how often this happens to me. It's almost humorous to me now. I guess I will have to address this situation when I awake in 4 and 1/2 hours and I will deal with it then. Until that time, I just wanted to vent for a moment.
God's timing is perfect. No doubt about that.
And he knows everything that will happen, before it happens......right?
Sooo...one must conclude he knew this would happen..
Meaning: He has some kind of plan.
I believe that. I have to believe that.
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