So, I finished my first project for this year just a few minutes ago. I must say, i'm quite proud of how well I think I did. I mean, granted my mother is my teacher and she's probably NOT going to fail me...but as I read my own paper I was surprised how much I sounded like I knew exactly what I was talking about..almost as if I lived through it myself, except of course I didn't...My paper was pretty much about the history of the US economy and comparing Reagan to Obama.. Anyway, glad that ones over! Not excited to hear about the next one though.
My dog FINALLY got a haircut. It was quite an effort, but it happened. When I got home from the youth girl's breakfast yesterday morning.. I proceeded to check and make sure my dad had taken the dog for her appt. I go into the den and sure enough--he's sitting in his chair with his "i just woke up" hair do and his eyes partially closed. The dog of course, is at my feet barking and staring up at me (at least I think she was, I couldn't see her eyes through all of the hair!!!) I sighed and asked him what time she was supposed to be there. "Between 8 and 9" was his response. I looked at the clock, yep...it was 9:00. I shook my head, put the leash on her and informed my poor dad that I would take her.
Now, normally...my dog is jumping over the top of me as I try to steer the car. Jumping up on the window, barking at every person in every car, and falling out of the leather seats into the floor board and getting upset and jumping back up. She didn't do that this time. She came right over next to me, laid down in the seat beside me...and let me pet her the entire way there. It was so refreshing to actually be able to DRIVE the car while she was in there. This trip was looking hopeful!!
We get to the groomers and she jumps down into the floorboard, under the steering wheel and I unlock the doors and attempt to get out of the car. FAIL. The drivers side door is STUCK and I mean...stuck! I sat there for a good 5 minutes trying to open it, I didn't. SO I climbed over, got in the passengers seat and got out, ran to the other side and attempted to open the driver's side door from the outside. Still stuck. So I get BACK in on the passengers side and attempt to pull the dog over toward me. This didn't work well. Now not only was the driver's door stuck, the dog was stuck. She was stuck under the steering wheel and couldn't get to the passenger's side floorboard due to the gear shifter and couldn't get in the driver's seat to cross over, due to the fact she kept hitting her head on the steering wheel and I was fearing she would probably pass out if she continued to try. At this point, I'm laughing..because I am the ONLY person in the parking lot and I know the women inside are watching me, because the entire front of the building is glass. It hits me then to push the driver's seat as far back as possible and maybe she could get up without hitting her head. Well, I did..and she got up there, but not without knocking herself in the head one good time. She then jumped down into the floorboard on the passenger's side, but is apparently either too old to jump down onto the concrete, or just too afraid. So I had to pick her up and put her on the ground...but not without losing the leash from around her neck. Luckily, I got it back on her before she escaped. I then shut the passenger's side door and go inside the groomer's office.
Now, this is where it gets weird. I walk in and the entire staff of...3 ladies look at each other in complete surprise. Almost as if they didn't know I was coming. I'm left standing there, leash in one hand, the other on my hip and staring at them in complete confusion. We all stood there, wordlessly staring at one another for a good 3 and a half minutes before one woman nonchalantly said, "Can I help you?" I held up the leash as if to say, "My dog?" while, really I wanted to say, "Yes, I'll take a table for three!" and confuse her just as much as she was confusing me. After having to state the dog's name numerous times, they finally took her from me, but not before she wet the floor---TWICE. Then the woman who picked her up almost lost a finger, but at that point.. I couldn't really blame the dog..these people were being a little ridiculous. Now let me remind you, while all this is happening..we're all just standing, in complete silence. The woman standing at the computer then informs me that the dog needs a shot and I respond with "okay, whatever she needs." Then the woman holding my dog as if she is a grocery bag hoisted on her hip asks ME what time I WANT to come get her. I wanted to say, "I'll take her NOW and go find someone who understands how to do all of this." But I just looked at her, dumbfounded and opened my mouth to say, "What time will you be done?" When she interrupted me and blurted out 4:30. I shook my head and know I must have been giving her a "look", but I didn't care.. I just walked out as they all yelled "BYE" in a friendly manner behind me, as if we had all just had the most enjoyable experience of our lives.
Getting out to the car, I reach to open the door and apparently was pulling it with force, because I was catipulted 12 inches backwards. REJECTED. I had forgotten the door was stuck. So, I walked over the passengers seat, climbed over, stomped on the gas and got out of that place.
Just so you know, my dog DID survive. And that was NOT my car..it was my parent's. My car's doors work properly...do not ask me why theirs do not.
Lessons Learned When Taking the Dog to the Groomers:
1) Just because your dog is remaining calm on the way there, does not mean she will stay that way when you arrive.
2) Don't assume just because you made an APPOINTMENT, that the groomer will expect you to arrive there.
3) You can choose ANY time to pick up the dog..because apparently, it doesn't matter what time they finish.
4) Take your own car when driving to the groomers.
5) Know that your poor dad DOESN'T understand the concept of "appointment."
6) It doesn't matter if you let your dog pee outside before you take her, because she will still go when you take her inside.
7) Carry a big sign that says "My dog's name is ____________ (insert proper name here)" when you go, or they will not know what to do.
8) Just because you're at the groomers, with a leash in hand and an exceptionally furry dog at your feet...don't assume they will know why you're there.
9) When 3 employees are working: One will attempt to get the dog (and almost lose limbs). One will stand over the computer, with her eyebrows furrowed, confused at why it says your dog should get shot. The last, will stand with her nail file just staring at the other two wondering why the other two actually bothered to move.
Love,
Ashlin
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